Silent Understandings
by WickedFan97
Summary: Blackwater. Starts in New Moon. If anyone could understand Jacob's pain, it was Leah. Missing moments in time. A realistic Jacob/Leah. Epilogue: Part 1 up.
1. Chapter 1

Warning: This is a "Blackwater" one-shot. It will be eventual Jacob/Leah with undertones of Bella/Jacob and Sam/Leah.

There will be some violence, sexuality, and language in this fic. Hence the rated M. I hate Edward with a passion, but I will be fair to him in this story as well as Bella. Because I don't like when authors go completely out-of-whack with their characters and bash everyone or come up with stupid, unrealistic plotlines with horrible grammar. Not that mines amazing, but I will try. Oh, and I actually can't stand Twilight but I truly found potential with these two when my sister forced me to read the books. I honestly don't mind Twilight fanfiction because there are some truly gifted authors out there that don't stick to canon but are gifted writers that can put an odd pairing together but make it realistically work. Ok, that's all, I hope you enjoy. Oh, and I welcome flamers. I laugh when I get idiotic comments from people who can't read the warnings about the pairings or the content.

_Book: Twilight_

_Pairing: Eventual Jacob/Leah with an undertone of Jacob/Bella and past Sam/Leah._

_Timeline: Starts around New Moon. It jumps around towards Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn will be hinted. So the ending will be AU. _

_Point Of View: Generally third person. But it leans toward Jacob._

_True friends are two people who are comfortable sharing silence together - Ralph Waldo Emerson_

The rain began to fall softly on the ground, creating large puddles and muddy side roads.

But that didn't even register to the mind of Jacob Black, as he slowly trudged his way on the road.

Despair grasped him as his shoulders hunched over in defeat, followed quickly by the clenching of his fist in pure raw anger. His heart was broken, his mind was still trying to grasp what just happened. He knew what happened, but denial helped a little in his rage and hurt clouded mind. It was easier to think when Bella returned, no doubt with that _fucking mind-reading leech_, that maybe deep in her heart she would still consider what could be.

Wrong. What could _have been._

Jacob laughed spitefully. It was over now. Now that _Cullen _would be returning with Bella in his arms, acting like he hadn't abandoned her in his twisted sense of love and nobility, it was back to being second-best. Who was he kidding. Even when _Cullen _was gone his ghost still lingered in the background of every meeting and hang out session with Bella. In the background, in her mind, and the worst, in her _heart. _

He could feel the tremors start, but didn't even attempt to stop them. He knew he should be more cautious, out in the open when not just a few months ago Charlie started the giant bear hunt bregade. But the rain was falling so hard now you couldn't see even ten feet in front of you, so with a painful hot flash and the straining and growing of muscles, Jake morphed into his wolf form. He couldn't help but whimper slightly as he painfully stood on four legs. Even months after his first transformation it still hurt like a bitch.

As his russet-colored wolf ran as fast as he could towards the forest, he realized morphing probably hadn't been the best decision. He didn't want to face what he knew was about to come. The pity mixed with that -I-told-you-so- expression that everyone would wear. Along with the condescending tones and the unstoppable cursing and bashing of Chief Swan's _leech-loving and danger-magnet _daughter that just broke his heart to pieces.

He didn't want the pack to read his thoughts, to see his true heart-break and weakness over Bella Swan. None of them would understand, just pity him and and say, 'I told you so'.

The only one who would semi-understand what it felt like would be Leah Clearwater. He remembered her heartbreak over Sam's imprint on Emily. Everybody remembered. It was back when she used to be nice, back when she used to be carefree like the rest of them. Hell, what was he thinking? None of them had been carefree as soon as they got hit with that one fever that would change their lives forever. But still, Sam's imprint hadn't helped. It made it all a huge drama fest for everyone in La Push. Of course, this was before Jacob himself transformed into a wolf and joined Sam's pack. But he could remember the secrets between Sam, Paul, and Leah. When the scars maimed Emily's face, after Sam and Emily had broke Leah's heart. He remembered the strain after he transformed when Emily and Leah were in the same room. And the tensing of Leah's muscles as Sam hugged Emily from across the room. Oh yes, Leah would know the pain.

But Leah was different now. She had become bitter and snappish towards everyone in the same room as her.

Jake concluded he was not in the mood to deal with Leah right now. And her triumphant smirk. He would rather Sam dance around a table and sing, 'I told you so, I told you so!'

He finally arrived in the backyard of Sam's place, he could already smell the entire pack, plus Emily, in the kitchen. No doubt inhaling the entire food supply. He braced himself, preparing for the looks and the talk from Sam that would come. He briefly considered just going home and curling up in his bed and sleeping. Maybe he could wake up and rush to Bella's house and see her there, cooking something for Charlie, with no _Bloodsuckers _in sight. Maybe it was a dream. A very painful dream. _Right._

He turned his muzzle towards his brown fur and let out a whimper of pain. Then, shifting his large shoulders upright, he turned his muzzle towards the air, and let out a soft, but pained howl escape, alerting the others to his presence.

He concentrated, and with a flash of pain and popping muscles, he was in his human form again, his cheek against the dirt. He slowly got up, stretched, and began walking towards the backdoor. But he looked down and froze. He forgot to tie his jeans to his leg, and now he was stark naked.

_Shit._

He wasn't self-conscious by any means. The pack in their early transformations had seen each other naked after forgetting to tie their clothes to their legs. Well, Jake had anyway. It was really inevitable. But he didn't want Emily or Leah seeing him like this. He was sure they had seen the others before, but still, thats one thing he didn't want to deal with. Another bout of awkwardness that was already about to come. He walked towards the porch, silently relieved that Sam's backyard was secluded. He gently rapped on the door, and opened it enough to stick his head in. He saw the pack, Leah, and Emily all around the kitchen table. They were talking quietly, well Sam was, and the rest of the pack was listening closely. Except for Emily and Leah. The former was still putting hamburgers on their plates, stopping quietly to kiss Sam on his cheek. The latter was off in her own dreamworld, with a trademark scowl on her face, and went tense when Emily kissed Sam's cheek.

He cleared his throat nervously.

Everyone's heads shot towards the backdoor. He saw Emily put down the plate and walk towards the door, no doubt to greet him. He pushed his arm around the door in a halting motion.

"Wait!" He said and Emily halted. Flushing, he pushed himself around so his upper body was in their sight.

"I need some clothes," was all Jacob said. He gestured towards the bottom of the door, which was hiding his nude lower torso. Sam instantly got up and retreated towards the hallway into his bedroom. He heard Quil make a joke about having nothing to hide, but he didn't really listen. He just wanted to get some clothes on, explain what happened, and go to sleep. He just hoped the pack was considerate enough not to ask questions they obviously knew would hurt him even more.

Sam came out of the bedroom with a white shirt, a pair of black boxers, and some jeans. He walked towards the door and handed them to Jacob. Jacob saw a flash of knowing in Sam's eyes, as if he knew what happened, but he said nothing. Jacob quickly took the clothes, and making sure the door was blocking him, put them on. When he was finished, he walked inside and sat in the empy chair Emily had put at the kitchen table.

"So....what happened Jake?" Asked Quil, quietly.

Jacob clenched his fist hard under the table, his eyes closing as he attempted to swallow the lump in his throat. He tried to let the tears in his closed eyes recede. After a minute, he opened them.

"There was...a misunderstanding between the _Cullens," _Spat Jacob, his hands beginning to shake. Until he heard Sam telling him to calm down. He released his shaking fist and rested his hands on the table, glaring hard at the surface.

"A misunderstanding?" Questioned Sam in a firm tone.

"_Edward fucking Cullen _thought Bella was dead. The little Cullen somehow saw a vision of Bella jumping and he found out about it. Now the _Bloodsucking _fool went to Italy to kill himself because he thinks she's dead, " growled Jacob.

Everyone's eyes widened slightly. He could see them glancing and raising their eyebrows at each other. He didn't care. He just dropped his chin on the table and grit his teeth together. He looked upwards to see Sam frown at him, contemplatively. He saw Leah smirk out of the corner of his eyes. He narrowed his eyes at her and she seemed to smirk wider.

"Romeo thought Juliet jumped off a cliff and now he's gone to kill himself in a painful death. How _Lovely,_" said Leah with a snort. Her lips seem to quirk up when Jacob clenched his fist and glared harder at her.

"How did Bella react?" said Sam, cutting in swiftly to stop an argument that was about to come.

At this question, Jacob clenched his jaw hard. The lump had returned to his throat, and his chest heaved with the effort to stop himself from crying or lashing out, he wasn't quite sure which. The tears had sprung up in his eyes again, and he glanced swiftly away to stop anyone from seeing him like this. Leah wasn't fooled however.

"Did she break down like a little baby and cry for the return of her _Leech? _Or has she gone out to do some more cliff-diving to stop the unbearable pain of loving a _Dead Frozen Corpse _who is going out to kill himself in her honor? Not that she's worth it," said Leah with a blank look towards Jacob.

Jacob's head snapped towards Leah. He stood up in a flurry of movement, effectively knocking his chair back on the ground with a hard clank. He snarled in pure fury, and his chest heaved. Leah stood up in a flash and a look of smugness was plastered on her face. With no fear she stepped towards him and sneered at him.

"It doesn't feel good to be in second best, does it now Jake?" said Leah in a clipped tone. She still had that same sneer on her face, looking at him with no fear whatsoever. Jacob growled loudly, his teeth grinding together.

"You would know about that more than me, you little _bitch!_" hissed Jacob in a fury. Apparently, that had been the wrong thing to say. Leah's face contorted, in more emotion than he had ever seen from her. Pure sadness and pain flashed across her face. It was quickly replace by utter rage and contempt. Her chest begin to heave, her breathing erratic, more so than Jacob's. He knew they both just crossed a line. More like leaped over it. He concentrated on Leah, watching her every move, as she began to quake and growl. He realized the entire pack was now on their feet, tensed and ready. He vaguely registered Sam pushing Emily towards the hallway and into the bedroom, quickly returning to stand between them. Too late.

He turned and ran outside, until he was in the middle of the backyard, his entire body still shaking with rage.

In less than a minute, a still quaking Leah ran outside, her face contorted in rage. She ran right towards him, not listening to the yells that came from inside. He saw the pack running outside in a flurry of speed. Once again, too late.

Her fist connected with his face.

_Hard. Very Hard. _It was enough to make Jacob stumble and clutch his already bleeding nose. She ran at him, and her sheer brute force knocked them both to the ground, her on top of him. Her shaking form was throwing fist after fist right at his face. Luckily, she was so angry that a lot of the fists didn't hit their target. Jacob roared and grabbed her by the waist and flipped her over. He would never hit a girl, but he had to admit that he was sorely tempted. Instead he clutched her arms tightly, enough to leave a powerful bruise, and slammed her down hard enough to befuddle her for a minute or so.

He felt many sets of powerful arms pull him back. He looked on and saw Sam lean down towards Leah in an attempt to help her off the ground. She smacked his hand away, and got off the ground in one fluid moment. She was still in a rage, and before he knew it, a large grey wolf stood in the spot she was once in. Leah's angry eye's surveyed him for a moment, then turned and fled into the forest with a pained howl.

"_Christ!"_ exclaimed Quil, as he released his hold on Jacob. He heard Embry echo the sentiment, and felt his arms release him as well. He finally registered that it it had stopped raining, and Leah could be seen.

"Crazy bitch," murmured Paul with a smirk on his face. "Nearly took you out Jake."

But Jacob ignored him, and looked at Sam. Sam was picking up Leah's shredded clothing and muttering to himself, a hard frown on his face. He turned and looked Jacob in the eye evenly.

"Fix this!" Sam said, in a tone that held pure authority.

Jacob looked at him evenly back and nodded his head. Concentrating, he felt the painful flash of white, and the morphing bones. Now on four legs, he dashed in the direction she went, intent on finding her. He sniffed and followed her trail, leaping over logs and looking to make sure nobody was around. He ran for what seemed like hours, until he finally caught a very strong wiff of her scent towards his left. He stumbled upon a secluded section of the forest, and he saw a small cave right in front of him. With caution, he trudged forward. He didn't know why he went slow, as she could smell his scent by now.

He went in the cave, his soft padded footsteps making a soft echo in the small cave. He saw her maybe a hundred feet

away, her lips curled up in a snarl, and her body tense on its four legs. He padded softly forward and stopped maybe ten feet in front of her, and dropped his head, showing he meant no harm. He waited patiently, he lifted his head towards hers as he let out a soft whine.

"_What the fuck do you want, Black?" _he heard in his mind. He shifted and tried to move forward, but she growled in response. He carefully stepped back and lowered his head once more.

_"I wanted to say I'm sorry Leah," _he murmured gently in his mind.

"_It's a little too late for apologies asshole." _hissed Leah in his mind, viciously.

He tried to keep his patience in check. He stepped forward, this time undeterred by her growl of warning. He closed his eyes and remembered her comments, the anger and hurt he felt. He knew Leah could feel and see it, but he no longer cared. He got the flashback of his pleading to Bella, not to leave him, to stay and let him try and make her happy, to put her together again. He felt raw agony in his chest as he remembered pleading with her, to her response of not to make her choose, because she would choose Edward Cullen without hesitation. Not make her choose? She had already chosen. She had chosen _him._

His muzzle finally lifted up from the ground to look at Leah, his heart positively breaking in his chest.

"_Jake..." _she whispered, her voice held a tone he never heard from her before. Her eyes were boring into his. She wasn't looking at him with hate, anger, or even sympathy. He knew that look.

Understanding.

Her form walked over very slowly to his, and stood right in front of his, only a step or two away. Her head lowered slightly, and he was suddenly bombarded with pure pain. Agony. Hurt. Betrayal. He saw the flashes going through her mind. The confusion of finding out what Sam was, the pure rage and heart-break as Sam described imprinting and what had happened. The agony when Sam looked towards Emily with love in his gaze. And the confusion and loneliness when she got sick and then transformed for the first time. He also got the briefest flash of her younger brother Seth, getting sicker and sicker, and the pure worry and pain. Then a large shield overtook her mind, and he lost all connection to her thoughts.

Suddenly, his head shot up as a howl of agony escaped her.

Her body was shaking and howling, as an animal in pain. For some reason, felt something tug at his heart, and before he knew he was doing he trotted over to her, and stood so close he could feel her fur. Tilting his head up, he howled the same violent howl as her. the howls of pain went in perfect sync. Their pain was overwhelming.

Finally it stopped.

They were eye to eye.

She lowered herself onto her stomach, her chin resting on her paws. He did the exact same thing next to her. Settling down. He tried to get into her mind again, so they could talk and communicate, but she stopped him.

"_Shhh," _was all she whispered. He obeyed.

The rain was falling again. Harder this time. The thunder and lightning booming and crackling outside.

He just listenened to it as they laid there for hours. And hours. He felt reconnected to her again, like they used to be when they were younger, before love and werewolves and vampires came into the mix. Before she grew into a pretty young woman, when she laughed and wrestled him and Seth with Billy and Harry watching them and cheering. Before she became bad-boy Sam Uley's girl. Before she got torn apart.

He listened to the rain as she closed her eyes.

_Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced- James Arthur Baldwin_

_Fuck!_

_Fuck it all!_

Jacob was so frustrated. Ok, not frustrated. Angry as hell would be the appropriate term.

_'Cullen is such a fucking manipulative, heart-breaking, controlling leech!'_

This was the third time in three weeks Bella had been stopped from seeing him.

He felt the anger making its way through his whole body as he tried to calm down. After Bella returned with Cullen, and Jacob had informed Charlie about the bikes, all had gone downhill. Well, more downhill then it already had been. Bella had been livid when she got grounded for several months. He should have known better. He should have known it would make it worse. But anger had clouded his judgement. He had wanted to tear the leech's head off when he intruded in his thoughts without his permission, and informed Bella his true intentions when giving the bikes to Charlie.

After what seemed like forever, Bella had forgiven him. But now it was strained. Cullen forced, or tried to, stop Bella from coming down to La Push. Saying it was dangerous with a young pack of werewolves.

'_Yeah, and staying with vampires that want to constantly kill you, which nearly happened once already, is not at all hypocritical and a whole lot safer. Right.'_

Jacob snorted derisively.

He remembered when Cullen actually dismantled Bella's engine to stop her from driving down there. She didn't even get that angry. But he couldn't help but be a little smug when he showed up on his motorcycle, and Bella happily and _willingly _jumped on behind him. Cullen had been furious. Jacob smiled. That's right bitch.

Leah had been furious as well. Back in the cave, several months ago, they had come to an understanding. A silent one. But that didn't stop her from hating Bella. At all. She snapped at him for his decisions here and there, but it wasn't as angry and condescending as it used to be. But when Bella came over, Leah had called her fair game and insulted her every chance she got. The two didn't get along at all. Ok, that's an understatement. They _loathed _each other. Hell, Quil, Embry, Paul, and now the newly changed Seth got several bowls of popcorn and sat back to watch the show when Bella and Leah were in the same room.

Jacob sighed as he wolfed down his sixth slice of pizza. Several boxes were stacked up on the counter, and him, Seth, and Leah were currently stuffing their faces. He was currently at the Clearwater's house, staying with Seth and Leah after a long night of patrolling. Their shifts had increased ten-fold now knowing that red-headed bloodsucking crazy bitch and her building new-born army were after Bella. No attacks yet, but it was coming, everyone knew it.

He started on his seventh slice, Leah started on the next box.

"Don't eat too much fat ass," he joked with her. Her eyes narrowed at him.

"You want another bloody nose Black? I would be more than happy to arrange it." hissed Leah, causing Jacob to snort and grin at her. Her eyes narrowed further, and she put down the box with a thud. Jacob suddenly cringed. Leah smirked.

"Let's see you try," he said cockily.

"I was hoping you would say that." said Leah, deviously. She advanced towards him cracking her knuckles and grinning like a chelshire cat.

_Shit._

He took off running through the front door, with Leah on his heels and Seth howling with laughter from the house.

He came back with a bloody nose and a snide Leah insulting his manhood.

**Months Later.......**

Jacob blinked back tears as he folded another pair of jeans and put them in his bag.

He felt numb.

He thought the kiss would change things. It didn't.

He knew she felt it to. That night in the tent, when _Cullen _let him keep her warm. He knew she felt something when she had been pressed against him, his lips on hers. She had kissed back.

Now they were about to get married, now that the gruesome, tiring threat was over. She invited him to her wedding. She invited him and Seth. Since Seth had grown on _Cullen_. Jacob didn't feel angry or betrayed about Seth taking a liking to them. He was disbelieving, but not angry. But she came up to him, grabbed his hands, and personally invited Jacob.

_Fuck. That._

He couldn't take it. His heart broke even more, if that was possible. It was then he realized this was something he couldn't change. Never. Her love for _Him._ He almost came to a truce with Cullen. For the first time they had a conversation and actually agreed. They didn't argue or growl at each other, shockingly. Jacob thought maybe an understanding could actually be possible. Maybe even a friendship. Nope. That all was shot to hell when Bella shredded his last ounce of hope by inviting him and saying she needed him there.

He grabbed a shirt and slammed it into his bag with more force than necessary. He was glad his dad wasn't home, because he would try to stop him. And he didn't want that. He wanted to _run._

"Bitch break your heart again?" came a snide, familiar voice from his door frame.

Turning to face her, and trying to ignore her comment, he just shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant.

She knew better.

Leah walked in, her tall figure taut as a bowstring as she surveyed him.

"You knew it would never happen between you two," she stated, more matter-of-factly then snidely.

Jacob just closed his eyes as he struggled to not show any emotion, how truly heart-broken he was. He could feel Leah's gaze on him, not judging, but not offering sympathy. That's why he needed her in times like these. Not judgement or fake pity, just a silent, genuine understanding. He snapped his eyes open.

"Come with me, " he said clearly and loudly. He needed his friend. His _understanding _friend. Misery loved company, afterall. Very true, he concluded.

"No," said Leah, her arms crossing over her chest, her tone firm. Jacob felt pain slam into his chest.

"Why not?", he asked, trying to steady his voice.

She gave him a hard, probing gaze.

"I don't run from my problems," she said, quietly.

He watched her disappear out the door, an odd emotion hitting him, making his chest cave.

_Oh no._

_Something had changed._

_I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be. - Douglas Adams_

He didn't run.

He went to the wedding. He danced with Bella. His heart was breaking with every step. He didn't run.

He waved goodbye, watched as they faded into the distance for their honeymoon. He didn't run.

He returned to his house, pulled off his tie and jacket. He just sat on the bed, staring at the wall, the past couple year's emotions exhausted him.

"Now's not the time to be pitying yourself, pencil-dick," said Leah, amused from the doorway.

He glared.

She smirked.

Everything had changed.

They were face to face, he had moved without realizing it. Someting flashed in her eyes, something he couldn't place. Her dark brown eyes looked into his. Challenging him. He took it.

Leaning forward, he fused his mouth to hers, hungrily. He gripped her hips with bruising force, as she clutched his shoulders, nails digging painfully into him. He slid his tongue into her mouth, which immediately battled for dominance with hers. Her teeth bit down on his lip, painfully. He growled.

He grabbed her ass now, squeazing with force as she hissed, and exposed her neck as he trailed kisses down her neck. He bit the area just above her collar bone, his teeth breaking the skin and marking her as his. She was _his._

With no embarassment or shyness, she reached down and rubbed him through slacks, gently gliding her fingers over his rapidly stiffening member as she began unbuttoning his dress shirt. He growled loudly and picked her up, her legs sliding around his waist and her mouth connected deeply to his, grinding her hips like crazy. Hissing, with animal instincts taking over, he threw her roughly on the bed, covering her body with his, and settling his hips between her thighs. He kissed her forcefully as one of her legs wrapped around his hips and she began grinding hard against his strained erection. He closed his eyes tightly and sat up, and she immediately unbuttoned the rest of his shirt, nearly tearing it in her haste to get it off.

He panted as she leaned up and kissed and bit every part of his upper body she could, like a starved animal.

She unzipped his pants, and a warm hand made it way down his boxers and grasped him tightly.

_Fuck._

He opened his eyes, a feral growl escaping him as he grabbed her tank top, and with ease, ripped it right off of her. He grabbed the front of her bra and pulled and ripped it as well. He looked down with nearly black eyes as her chest, her perfect bronze breasts, heaved. He immediately closed his mouth around her nipple. She arched and hissed. He massaged the other one, as his tongle rolled around her buds. She grunted and moved her hand harder against him. He grit his teeth, and reached down and unzipped her black pants, and began to pull. She lifted her hips to make it easier. He pulled them off, and threw them somewhere on the floor. She was wearing tight boyshorts, her long toned legs and round, tight ass on display.

She started pulling his pants down, which he pulled back and helped, throwing them somewhere. With no patience, he grasped the top of her boyshorst and shredded them, and she did the same with his boxers. Leah Clearwater was fucking naked, and under him, looking at him with a burning lust and desire.

Suddenly, she was up on her knees and shoving him on his back with force. His breath hitched as she straddled him, her wetness coating her thighs and her heat just right above him.

"Should we...go slow?" he asked breathlessly. He felt animalistic, carnal, he didn't want to take it slow. He wanted to fucking take her.

"Fuck that", she growled, and lowered herself with force onto him.

He grasped her hips and hissed as she grinded hard and tight onto him, groaning his name

She put her hands on either side of his head and moved fast and hard, as he gripped her hips tightly. She moaned and rolled her hips in a circular motion.

_Fuck._

Their breathing was erratic, the bed was squeaking, and they were close.

Jacob slammed harder up into her with a groan, causing her to match his every rough thrust.

She was close.

She went rigid above him, her body arched as hear head tilted back with her eyes tightly closed. She howled as her insides clenched around him, and he was gone. He shuddered and grunted, as black dots danced in front of his eyes.

They collapsed in a sweaty heap on the bed, her body laying limply on his, her panting against his ear and he panted back against her shoulder.

_Jesus Christ._

_"_I'm not in love with you," she said.

"Good, I'm not either," he said right back.

She settled against him.

He wrapped his arms around her. She wasn't Bella. He wasn't Sam.

They would be ok though. _They Understood._

**End.**


	2. Chapter 2

Okay, I have decided to go ahead and make this at least another chapter or two. I've had some ideas come to me recently.

Once again, you read the warnings in the first chapter. And again, wlecome flamers. Feisty little bitches. :)

_And if my woman was a fire_

_ She'd burn out before I wake_

_ And be replaced by pints of whiskey_

_ Cigerettes and outer space_

_ - "Broadripple Is Burning" (Margot and the Nuclear So and So's)_

_ Slam._

_ Thump._

Jacob's fist connected with another part of the garage's wall. Billy was gonna kill him.

Oh well.

He couldn't help himself. Bella and the leech returned from their honeymoon a mere three days ago. And the pain was back again. Jacob honestly thought he was starting to heal. Leah had been helping slightly over the past few weeks of Bella's absence. Their rendezvous helped relieve him of a lot of tension he had been holding in for God knows how long. It wasn't really talked about between Leah and himself, but he knew fully well there wasn't gonna be some romantic declaration or relationship forming. Good. Suprisingly, things with Leah was the only simple thing in his life at the moment. Which was funny, as he used to think of her as a complication. But for the past couple of weeks, she helped him feel a little bit better. Not completely better, but enough to go on.

Well, not anymore. He didn't know if he could take much more. Ever since that phone call.

_Bella was pregnant._

Just fucking fantastic. Somehow her and the leech pulled off a miracle child. Not only that, but Sam Uley was not happy. And Jacob was worried. He didn't know what Sam was gonna do. He knew Bella was gonna want to be changed relatively soon, but on top of everything, she now had a hybrid child growing in her womb. _Shit._ And Jacob used to think things were complicated. They just got even worse.

Which was exactly why he currently had his own restored motorcycle right out front of his house.

He wasn't running away, but he needed to get away, even just for the day, to clear his head.

Just as he kick-started it, a familiar voice stopped him.

"Oi! Black! Where the hell are you going?" called Leah, now only a few yards away.

Jacob hesitated. Should he tell her? Part of him wanted to just be alone, but a part of him really wanted to talk to someone. The latter won the battle. He turned it off and turned towards Leah.

"I honestly don't know," replied Jacob truthfully.

Leah was now in front of the motorcycle, where she was now resting her arms on the handlebars. She gazed at him with a blank stare.

"I heard she's pregnant with demon spawn," murmured Leah.

He closed his eyes and just swallowed hard before opening his eyes. He nodded stiffly.

"Yeah," mustered Jacob. Leah just raised her eyebrow and lifted her arms off the handlebars. She stood up straight and looked at Jacob with a smirk on her face. He immediately became suspicious, and his eyes narrowed at the girl.

"What?" questioned Jacob, his tone suspicious. Leah attempted to look innocent.

"Nothing," she smirked.

"Leah!" growled Jacob, his tone impatient.

"He must be pretty good to produce a miracle child. That or they fucked like rabbits," said Leah, with a snort of laughter, mixed with a slight expression of disgust.

"Dammit Leah!" snarled Jacob furiously. He leant his head forward and slammed it hard against the metal of the handlebars, trying desperately to block the images of his Bella and the blood-sucker going at it. It didn't work and he howled and slammed his head harder against the metal, wanting to hit Leah as he heard her snorts of laughter. He snapped his head up and glared at her. She shot him a challenging smirk, and to his great suprise, walked around the front to the back of the motorcycle and situated herself behind him.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Let's go!" said Leah. Jacob just stared at her, until her eyes narrowed and she sharply hit him on the arm. Figuring it was pointless to argue, he turned forward and stood up briefly to kick-start the motorcycle. He sat back down and Leah's arms wrapped around his waist. He had to close his eyes and fight a sudden onslaught of arousal as her bare thighs rubbed against the back of his ass. He cursed her for wearing damn jean shorts and only a tank top. He opened his eyes and taking in a deep breath, he sped off.

They were on the highway, and Jacob didn't stop.

_20 miles._

_ 40 miles._

_ 60 miles._

_ 80 miles._

_ 100 miles._

He felt Leah rest her head on his shoulder as he passed a sign.

_Welcome to Rose Town._

He pulled in to a homely looking diner with a simple red sign with the words Diner on the top of it. He turned the motorcycle off, telling himself to make sure to fill it up with gas while they were there. He felt Leah let go of him and stand up and stretch, her tank top riding up over her toned stomach. He looked away quickly and stood up, stretching himself. The walk to the diner was completely silent, which he was grateful for, and Leah seemed to sense it. They walked into the diner and quickly found a little booth in the corner. He looked around and noticed it wasn't that busy, which again he was thankful for. A woman in her late thirties came to greet them.

"Can I have some coffee along with the meat lover's omelette, the short stack of pancakes, and the french toast?" asked Jacob.

" Course 'hun, how 'bout you young lady?" asked the waitress. Leah smirked.

"The exact same," said Leah. Immediately the waitress raised an eyebrow and her gaze swept over Leah's lithe form.

"That's quite an amount of food 'hun", said the waitress, hesitantly. She was obviously trying not to offend Leah.

"I think I can handle it," said Leah firmly, her gaze intense. The waitress nodded quickly and left, obviously flustered.

Jacob couldn't help but snort. Leave it to Leah to scare a waitress when an obviously huge and intimidating boy was sitting directly across from her. The waitress quickly returned with their coffees, and scurried away shortly after Leah smirked at her. Jacob had to turn away towards the window to hide the grin on his face. He sipped on his coffee and just looked outside, to the nearly empty parking lot and the forest across the road from it. He turned back to find Leah gazing at him.

"What?" he asked softly. Leah just shrugged

"If someone told me I would be in a diner with Jacob Black and talking about our issues, I would have just laughed," said Leah. She glanced briefly out the window but then turned back towards him. To others, she looked careless, but he could see the pain in her gaze.

"Emily is pregnant," whispered Leah. Her face was perfectly blank, but her eyes killed him.

All Jacob could do was widen his eyes in astonishment.

"I'm happy for them," murmured Leah.

"You're lying," he said.

She nodded and sipped her coffee some more.

"We're both pathetic," she said, her tone filled with disgust and anger. Jacob couldn't help but agree.

"At least we have each other" he said softly. Leah groaned and rolled her eyes.

"Why don't we grab each other's hands and sing Kumbaya around a fucking tree," snorted Leah.

Jacob couldn't help but burst out laughing at the image. Leah glanced over at him, and seeing his state, actually joined in. They were both howling now, toppled over in the seats as the very few patrons of the diner glanced over at them in annoyance. Jacob didn't care, he was actually happy in this moment and he didn't give a damn what anyone thought.

After the waitress re-appeared and they wolfed down their food, much to her astonishment, they quickly used the restroom and paid the bill. They were currently at the gas station, filling the bike up with gas, and much to Jacob's amusement, trying to buy liquor. He held six packs of old cheap liquor under both arms as Leah tried to flirt with the young man at the counter to let them buy the liquor. It was quite possibly the funniest damn thing Jacob witnessed in his entire life.

The guy was practically drooling over Leah, but was still somewhat reluctant. Well, until Leah pulled her top up and the guy nearly fainted. They quickly paid and made their way out, howling with laughter and stumbling.

For awhile they just sat against the wall behind the gas station and drank. Jacob knew it was risky and they could be caught by an officer, but he didn't give a damn anymore. He was _drunk. _

For his size, it took a lot of alcohol to get him shit-faced, that and the whole werewolf thing. Leah as well. But he estimated they were on their eighth bottle of beer, _at least. _They just sat there for a long time and drank in complete silence. Until he realized how late it was, probably past midnight. He tried to reason with Leah to get a motel room for the night but the drunk bitch tried to refuse and grab the keys. It ended in an all out brawl between the two. Then it descended into hysterical drunken laughter. Luckily she gave in to the idea. And luckily there was a motel right down the road and _somehow_ Jacob didn't crash the motorcycle getting there. It was a short distance but he was completely trashed, as was Leah.

The guy at the front obviously knew they were hammered and thought they were probably looking for a one-night stand. Regardless, they got the keys to a one-bed fucktastic room. They didn't care. They couldn't even think. They didn't want to.

Jacob woke up and he and Leah, with throbbing heads and messy clothes, made their way back to La Push.

_You wanna do someone else_

_ So you should be by yourself_

_ Instead of here with me secretly_

_ -"Secretly" (Skunk Anansie)_

It had been seven months since Jacob and Leah returned to La Push with massive hangovers.

And it has been four months he had been fucking Leah senseless every time they were alone.

Shortly after the little adventure Leah had propositioned him. He accepted. It was suprisingly easy to keep it hidden from the pack. You just had to focus on the task at hand and not let your mind stray. Which wasn't difficult for Jacob, as his mind was on one thing. _Bella._ Finally, he had visited her. He expected her to be going through pregnancy pains, but she hadn't. When he got there, he died on the inside. As he trailed inside the house, with Seth by his side(as he liked the Cullens), he saw her. Shining pale skin, scarlet eyes and pure grace. So much beauty it broke his heart. Not only that, there was a bundle in her arms. They called her Renesmee.

"I've missed you," she had murmured, after hugging him softly.

"I've missed you too", he had murmured back.

She smelled like leech, it made him numb. He held Renesmee, much to Bella's happiness and Edward's reluctance. Jacob wouldn't lie, the baby was beautiful, and when she opened her eyes, he had felt complete devotion to the child. The child gurgled and Jacob's heart had swelled.

It was then he informed them of Sam Uley's intentions to harm the child. They had been outraged.

Bella had looked at him with hurt eyes and had asked if he would help Sam. No matter what Sam said, he loved Bella and needed to protect her. He would do anything for her, Even if that included fighting his own Alpha and breaking apart the pack.

"No," swallowed Jacob. "I will always protect you Bells".

'_I love you'_ his mind had silently added. Edward had clenched his jaw, and nodded stiffly. But Bella had looked at him with pure gratefulness.

"I'll try and help to," said Seth. Bella and Edward had smiled gently at the boy. After Seth had held Renesmee, they had both left to go back to Sam's place. And Jacob wished they hadn't. It was all falling apart before their eyes.

It all led up to their current predicament. Sam was now poised in front of him, in his pure and raw Alpha stance, and he was ready to fight. Jacob was straight across from him, in the exact sam stance. The pack was formed in a circle around them.

"Jake, you need to think logically. You need to put aside your personal feelings and think about what is right for everybody," said Sam, his tone firm. His jaw was clenched, as was his fist.

"How is killing an innocent child right for everybody?," snarled Jacob in pure fury. He was trying his hardest to control the tremors along his spine. He heard Seth immediately agree with him. As well as Quil and Embry, though a bit more hesitantly. Paul and Jared were glaring at him though, and he knew there was no convincing them. Leah though, he didn't know what to think. She looked...torn. Her body was tense as she looked between Sam and Jacob. Her eyes were piercing and ready for a fight.

"You know this is what the council wants. The Cullen's have broken the treaty," said Sam. His tone was deep and angry.

"_Fuck_ the council! And the fuck the treaty Sam! We knew it would come to this when she returned with the Cullens! It was her _choice_! They didn't bite her forcefully. Your right, this child is a half-breed. But we have _no _right to take her life over something she _didn't _choose," yelled Jacob, trying desperately for Sam to see reason. Sam pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration and sighed harshly.

"No. We _will _go through with it Jake. We have no choice," whispered Sam.

"There's always a choice Sam. We _don't _have to do this," whispered Jacob.

"Yes we do. As your Alpha I command you to follow through with this," said Sam, authority and firmness in his voice. But his eyes held true sorrow for Jacob. Jacob straightened, and walked firmly up to Sam, eye to eye with him.

"No," whispered Jacob. "No! You may give us orders Sam, but don't forget who is the _true _alphaaround here".

Sam's eyes flashed, and the tremors started. Jacob, realizing what was about to happen, quickly began trembling as well as his bones shifted and cracked. Before he knew it, he was on all fours and staring at Sam's black wolf. They were now growling and snapping at each other. Jacob vaguely realized the entire pack was now in their wolf forms, and they were all in a defensive stance. He could hear them trying to reason with them in his mind, but he ignored them. Sam seemed to as well.

'_You two need to stop being so fucking stupid. Fighting will solve nothing!' _snarled Leah.

'_Stay out of this Leah',_ snapped Sam.

'_Don't you fucking talk to her like that!' _growled Jacob, before he could stop himself. He saw the black wolf's eyes narrow, while the grey wolf's head seemed to nod at him. He nodded back, but before he could stop it, a memory of him and Leah appeared. It was two months ago. They had been out in the forest and he had Leah pinned against the tree and they were moving with wild abandon. Jacob's face was pressed against Leah's neck and groaning, and Leah was crying out with her head slamming back against the tree.

'_Oh shit!' _murmured Quil.

The russet and black wolf snarled and crashed into each other.

_If there's no one beside you_

_ When your soul embarks_

_ Then I'll follow you into the dark_

_ - "I Will Follow You Into The Dark"(Death Cab For Cutie)_

Jacob closed his eyes as the sun hit his face.

He was currently laying down on his back with his hands behind his head.

He had decided to come to the cliffs a little bit earlier to think. He just wanted some time alone from _his _pack. Ever since that fight a month ago with Sam, which he won, everything was getting a little bit better. A little bit. He had shown that he could be Alpha, which was his birth right anyways. They had both done a number on each other, before Leah had interfered. She had been vicious as well as furious. But to his great shock, she had taken his side. Sure, they had grown somewhat close. Sure, they fucked on a regular basis. Sure, they understood and bonded over each other's pain. But never in a million years did he expect Leah to take his side. For once, a girl had chosen him.

He could tell Sam had been shocked as well. He remembered the genuine sadness in his eyes when Leah stood by Jacob instead of him. It suprised him a little that deep down Sam still wanted Leah to always take his side. But she didn't. She had chosen _Jacob._

Which was why she was currently his Beta now. She had been thrilled when he told her. The guys had been furious. All but Seth. Leah's expression was worth it all. The true happiness and gratefulness that adorned her face made Jacob happy. Before the mischeviousness appeared there as well. Leah was getting a real kick out of telling the guys what to do. And if they challenged her, Jacob didn't step in, because Leah would outright kick their ass. Jacob snorted.

"What are you laughing about oh mighty leader of them all?" asked Leah, as her face suddenly appeared right above him.

"You", grinned Jacob.

Leah's eyes narrowed at him.

"I was just remembering when Brady was asking you if you were sure that was plan and you punched him and then took all of his clothes and hid them after he phased," laughed Jacob.

Leah laughed lightly and smirked.

"He shouldn't have questioned me," smirked Leah.

"He shouldn't have," agreed Jacob, standing up and brushing his clothes off.

He went and stood closer by the edge and just watched the sun. He felt Leah move and stand beside him with her arms crossed. He liked the silence, it was nice. He wondered if he would ever love someone who loved him back. He knew Leah asked herself the same question. Oh well. They had each other They didn't need a damn imprint to love someone. He reached over and grabbed her hand. Her head snapped towards him.

"What?" she asked quietly.

"Do you ever think.....that we'll be ok? That we'll heal and find someone?" he asked, just as quiet.

"Getting all mushy on me Black?" she grinned.

"With you? No." snorted Jacob. She rolled her eyes at him.

"We'll be okay Jake, I know we will," she said confidently. She squeezed his hand a little tighter and he grinned.

"Getting all mushy on me Clearwater?" grinned Jacob.

"Your such a dick."

"Your such a bitch."

He tugged her forward towards the very edge of the cliff.

"Let's jump!" he said, smiling with excitement.

"Well aren't you just romantic," she smirked. He just shrugged.

"I'm still not in love with you," she murmured, giving him a feisty look.

"Good, I'm not either," he shot back, grinning. And holding tight to her hand, he jumped with her, holding her hand on the way down until they crashed into the current below. Their bodies sank deep and twisted in the water, as they attempted to swim to the surface. Finally, their head's broke the surface, and they gasped slightly for breath and looked at each other. Jacob grinned at her, and Leah grinned back. He jumped slightly a wave of water hit him in the face, and he opened his eyes to see a smirking Leah. He smirked right back.

They would be ok. He sure of it.


	3. Not An Update

**This is not an update!!**

You're probably pissed....but I don't really give a fuck. Now, I need some opinions. I rarely have any time on my hands anymore and I'm torn on whether I should do another chapter or two. Like I said, I will not turn into one of those authors who demand a certain amount of reviews for each chapter. I'll be honest, if I get only one review for the entire story I'm happy. I don't give a damn about the number of reviews I get. Anyway, back to topic. I have no time for anything but work or school anymore, so I don't know if I should add another chapter or two. If you want for me to continue this, I will. But I might only update once every week or two. Anyways, need opinions, so let me know if I should keep going or not. If yes, then I'll try my best, and if not, then I'll probably go off in a corner and cry like a little bitch. :)

Not a writer's block, just curious if I should leave it where it is or attempt another chapter.

Love you all lots!(Not really, since I don't know any of you) But an honest thanks to my reviewers.

-Katie


	4. Chapter 4

Ok, the majority vote was that I add another chapter. So I'm going to. Your lucky my work closed down today or else I wouldn't have had this done so fast. It was either this or hang out with my little sister so naturally this was my first choice. But I wanna say thanks, I honestly didn't expect so many responses, but it is cool. And thanks to those who were honest and said that it seems good right where I stopped it. But this was the majority vote. Ok, I know you probably won't give a damn, but this girl messaged me and pissed at me for what I said on my profile, about disliking fangirls, Twilight, and Edward Cullen. She said she was 14 and that Edward Cullen was the dreamiest guy in the entire world. It was the _funniest _fucking message I've read in my entire life. I had to tell Virgin Mary to pipe down and go kiss her Edward pillow. Like I said, I welcome flamers. It really makes my day more amusing. Anyways, enjoy.

_Truly sorry, I see clearly  
Calmly crashing, I pace faster than anyone  
Hinges rusting, they swing louder than anything  
Truly lonely this place is flatter than it seems  
I'm upset and I leave the doors wide open  
Our hearts are used up, cracked and dry  
Pulled the scabs off of regrets  
We haven't learned to read our conscience yet_

_ -"Ohio"(Modest Mouse)_

Jacob took another swig of beer as he surveyed the living room Of Emily's house. The party was in full swing. Beer bottles clattered the counters and the table. Their were several platters lined along the table. There were ribbons and decorations all along the walls of the house. And there was music playing in the background.

Sam and Emily's wedding had been a success.

Somehow the rift between the two pack's had been put aside that day.

He was suprised he even got an invite. As much as he was mad at the former pack, it still warmed him a little they wanted him to come along with his new pack. Sam had greeted him civilly with a look of sincere thanks on his face. Both him and Emily hesitated when they saw Leah though. He couldn't help but be proud of Leah. She just swallowed hard and said a seemingly sincere congratulations. He noticed Emily's face light up at her cousin's words. It was then he realized how close Emily and Leah had been before the imprint.

The ceremony had begun after everyone had taken their seats.

Jacob, suprisingly, was one of the groomsmen.

Leah, even more suprisingly, was one of the bridesmaids.

He had to admit she looked beautiful in her white knee-length dress. Her shoulder length hair tied up. Jacob nearly lost it during the vows though. Sam and Emily had written their own vows. Jacob hated making fun of Sam, but they were the cheesiest vows he had ever heard. Leah apparently thought so as well. When Sam said Emily was his 'angel from heaven' the look on Leah's face was hysterical. Her face had contorted in hilarity before she grabbed the flowers and hid them in front of her face while coughing. This cause Jacob to bite his lip to stifle his laughter. He met her grin across the alter.

It was also pretty damn funny after the ceremony ended. Sam and Emily were walking back down the aisle, followed by the flower girl.

The Groomsmen then followed. Then the Bridesmaids. He looked back to see Leah dancing merrily while throwing flower petals toward the ground with a sarcastic smile on her face. Then she blew kisses to random people and pranced with a fake grin on her face. Jacob had to stop himself from doubling over in laughter. She winked at him when she walked by and smirked. Only to be dragged away by an irate Sue Clearwater who was clearly giving her a stern talking to.

All in all, a successful wedding.

He looked over to see Sam and Emily cuddling on the couch, whispering in each other's ear.

Quil and Embry were having a shot competition.

Seth and Collin were talking with Sue and laughing.

And Leah was in a arm wrestling match with Brady and Paul was watching and hollering.

_Oh no._

Jacob quickly made his way over, and watched the strain on both of their faces as Paul was cheering on Brady. Brady was looking on the verge of desperate as Leah's arm was slowly tilting his towards the table. Brady seemed to panic, but then a gigantic grin crossed his face. _And here we go. _He lifted up his left hand, the one he wasn't using, and grabbed Leah's hand with both hands and slammed her hand on the table with a clatter. Leah just stared. Jacob silently counted down in his mind.

5

4

3

2

1......

Leah then launched herself over the table at Brady and took him down on the floor. The were both rolling on the floor and fighting for dominance. Jacob was glad they had changed into casual clothing or else Leah's dressed would have been ruined. Paul was on the ground and laughing himself silly. Leah currently had Brady in a chokehold, and Brady was currently shouting for someone to help him. This of course caught the attention of everyone at the party. Quil and Embry joined Paul on the floor, and Seth quickly rushed over to his sister. Sue Clearwater was shaking her head in exasperation and Sam and Emily joined her. Jacob helped Seth pull Leah off of Brady, who was currently cursing.

"Calm down tiger," murmured Jacob, holding Leah back.

"Did you not see him? He cheated!" yelled Leah.

"What are you Lee, five?" asked Seth. Leah just growled at her brother and stopped struggling in Jacob's arms.

"It's not my fault you can't arm wrestle for shit, Clearwater," said Brady, smirking at her.

"It's not my fault you fight like a little bitch," said Leah, smirking right back.

Jacob just groaned and pulled Leah towards the backdoor. He let go of her arm as they got outside and went and sat down on the porch swing. The sun was beginning to go down now. The air was quite warm and comfortable outside. He felt Leah come and gently sit down right next to him. He looked over at her face and noticed her just tilting her head a bit, her gaze unreadable.

"I had him", groaned Leah, shaking her head a bit.

Jacob just grinned over at her.

"You did," smirked Jacob. "But I'm pretty sure Sam, Emily, and your mother would have killed you for wrecking the house".

"Would've been worth it," muttered Leah. "The little shit".

Jacob snorted. He just kept looking at Leah and noticed her gaze wander over everything in the backyard. But he soon noticed her gaze transfixed on a worn and beaten tire swing. It had an old mangy rope attached to it and it was covered in dirt and just laying in the yard.

"Are you okay, Lee?" aked Jacob softly.

Leah just closed her eyes briefly and turned towards him.

"Sam used to push me on that tire swing. I used to pretend I hated it, but I actually loved it," whispered Leah. Her eyes were open now and just gazing blankly at it. Jacob swallowed softly and attempted to move closer. She let him.

"I'm...I'm sorry Lee" muttered Jacob, not really knowing how to talk to her.

"It's ok.......so how's spawn baby and Mr. and Mrs. Leech?" questioned Leah, smirking a little.

"Their pretty good, Nessie is growing so fast it astounds me," said Jacob, just quietly humming and keeping his gaze on the little bee-feeder Emily had hanging off her porch ceiling. He watched as several bees came up to it and were currently buzzing at each other and fighting over the syrupy honey that was dripping from the top.

It had been six months since Renesmee's birth and Bella's change. Whenever he saw them now Nessie looked like a toddler, much to his astonishment. It took quite some getting used to. Bella's lack of clumsiness and now golden eye's were still suprising him every time he saw her as well. He got frequent visitation rights at the Cullen's. As did Seth. They were still quite fond of Seth. And their welcome's were a lot warmer towards Jacob now to. Him and Edward were acting civilly towards each other, but he still shot Edward a look when he tried to read his mind, and answered Jacob's questions before he could ask them. That still somewhat annoyed him to no end. The little pixie vampire, Alice, was quite amusing. He found that she was his favorite. She honestly attempted to get along with him, and even talked to him about her visions, and if she had seen any vampires in the area. She was a good ally.

Other than the stench, everything seemed to be on good terms. He was still getting over Bella, but he was doing a lot better now. He would always have a place for Bella, but he knew nothing would ever happen. When she kissed Edward in front of him he still felt a tiny pang, but it was slowly getting smaller.

Leah helped out a lot in that department. After all this time, he didn't know what he and Leah were. It just.....wasn't complicated. And he liked it that way. He remembered the first time he brought her to the Cullen's house. Of course, she and Bella despised each other but that was no secret. To his suprise, she tried to act civil towards the girl. _Tried._ A comment or two slipped out every once in a while, causing Bella to glare at her.

When Nessie ran towards him he had embraced her with open arms, he honestly adored the child.

"Jake!" she had grinned excitedly.

Nessie was truly a gifted child. Ridiculously smart for her age. And very perceptive. Which she no doubt got from Bella. Nessie had flashed him a slideshow of what she had been doing the past two weeks and he chuckled at her and Alice's prank on Emmett. Then she had turned towards Leah, who was standing stiffly by his side. Nessie cocked her head with her trademark smile, and murmured a gentle hello. Leah merely raised her eyebrow. Jacob had gently elbowed her, which Edward and Bella had seen, and she gently moved forward. He had noticed Edward and Bella stiffen slightly.

"Hi," muttered Leah, quietly. Nessie had cocked her head again, and grinned her trademark grin.

"I'm Nessie," grinned Renesmee.

"Nice to meet you Nessie, I'm Leah," muttered Leah. She, after a look from Jacob, grudgingly reached down and shook Nessie's hand, to which Nessie grinned.

He couldn't help but be proud of Leah. He knew it had be hard for her, as she completely detested the Cullens and especially Bella. He noticed Bella and Edward's slightly suprised look at her, which she pointedly ignored.

All in all, it actually went okay, and things were going okay.

He looked back towards Leah.

"We're doing pretty good you know," shrugged Jacob.

"Yeah, I am a lot better now then I was before," shrugged Leah right back.

"Maybe we're on step five of the grieving process: acceptance," grinned Jacob. "Well, I am at least. I think you'll always be stuck on the anger stage".

Leah lips quirked up in a grin and she smacked Jacob in the arm.

_Well, I woke up this morning, I got myself a beer  
Well, I woke up this morning, and I got myself a beer  
The future's uncertain, and the end is always near_

_ -"Roadhouse Blues"(The D_oors)

Jacob was pretty sure the Cullens were gonna kill him. And mostly likely Leah as well.

He began to fidget nervously, waiting for Renesmee.

Over the past few months the pack had been doing a lot better, but the treaty and friendship with the Cullens hadn't. It had started with new vampires roaming the area. Not that hard to take care of. With the increase in number of wolves and Alice's visions it was pretty much no threat at all. But that wasn't what got it started. It was unsurprisingly Leah. But what suprisingly happened, was that Jacob had taken her side, when the Cullens began to rebuke her insults with their own. Jacob didn't know what had gotten into him, defending Leah when she had indeed started it. The only one who truly seemed to like Leah was Renesmee. And suprisingly, Leah wasn't hateful of Renesmee. In fact she seemed almost nice to the little girl. Well as nice as _Leah _could get.

Jacob sighed frustratedly.

Leah had become more civil, but still a comment would slip now and then. This one slipped toward Bella, and it certainly wasn't a nice one. Bella had glared and had civilly told Leah to at least be polite in the Cullen's house. Leah had promptly scoffed and threw another insult. Then this lead to raised voices, followed by growls. He had never seen Leah and Bella come close to physical blows before. Luckily everyone stepped in. They immediately told Leah to behave or she was no longer welcome, but Leah just rolled her eyes. Then Bella snapped at her in fury. And Leah made a comment that hit Bella hard. Which, to Jacob's rage, had been made about him.

Finally, the Cullens had lost their impatience and hospitality, and demanded Leah get out. As well as a few insults.

And Jacob did something he thought he would never do, and said that Leah was his Beta and friend, and if anyone had a problem with her, than they did with him also. The Cullens had just stared. And Bella just looked slightly hurt. Carlisle had finally stepped forward and ushered him and Leah out of the house, telling them to leave before things got out of control. And he hadn't seen Renesmee, Bella or the Cullens in a month.

Which is why he secretly called Nessie to tell her to meet him further down the road from the Cullen house.

He was leaning against his bike and waiting for her.

He couldn't help but be suprised when Leah had shown up instead of Nessie.

"She told them about you secretly spending the day with her," said Leah, her tone apologetic.

Jacob just groaned and rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"I.....I went over there...to apologize about what I said," whispered Leah

Jacob's head snapped towards her in suprise.

"You did?" said Jacob, trying to keep the suprise out of his voice.

"Nope," snorted Leah, trying not to laugh

Jacob just groaned and rolled his eyes. But he had to stop himself from grinning. Leah casually walked the remaining few feet and sat herself down on the bike with a big grin. She put her arms casually on the handlebars and attempted to look up at him with an innocent expression. Jacob just waited.

"So....where are we going boss?" grinned Leah.

He sighed. Obviously his plans with Renesmee were ruined. But an idea suddenly came to him.

"Tradition?" grinned Jacob, and Leah looked confused for the briefest second.

"Oh hell yeah," grinned Leah, as the lightbulb went off in her head.

He grinned and went over to get on the bike, but Leah would not budge. Instead, she looked up at him and smirked.

"No, your are so not driving _my _motorcycle," groaned Jacob.

Looking challenging, Leah stood up with quickly. And with effortless grace kick-started the motorcycle into gear. She sat down with a smirk on her face, as if daring him to say no. Jacob puffed out his chest in his best Alpha stance. Leah just rolled her eyes at him. Then in an unexpected move, smirked viciously before standing up. She walked swiftly towards him until she stood just a hair apart. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and leg came up and entwined around on of his own. She breathed against his ear, and he would be lying if he said he wasn't turned on.

"If you let me drive, I'll let you drive later," whispered Leah, her voice husky.

"What?" asked Jacob, before it came to him. _Oh._ He felt heat travel through him. "Ok, you have yourself a deal Clearwater".

Leah unwrapped herself from him and smirked triumphantly. She quickly walked back over to the bike and hopped on.

"C'mon Black, we don't have all day," hollered Leah.

Grudgingly, he walked over and positioned himself behind her. His eyes fluttered as his crotch pressed against her ass, which _again_, was only in a pair of very short shorts. Followed by a normal white t-shirt. He noticed her hair was up in a messy ponytail as well.

She adjusted herself, and after Jacob wrapped his arms around her waist, she took off.

She had driven one hundred miles towards a very familiar sign.

_Welcome to Rose Town._

Jacob grinned. After that one night a couple of years ago, this had become a tradition for them. If they needed to talk to each other or just get away, they would drive up here. They would eat at _their _diner, fill the bike up with gas, and then go to the local bar. Which ended up with both of them wasted and fucking each other senseless at _their _motel. He had to admit that he liked this. It was different, and it made him forget, much like Leah. He didn't know what he and Leah were, and the chances are he never would. There was no explaining it. There was no going into an epic love story. They were just Jacob and Leah.

After an hour of eating and then filling up the bike they went to the bar. It wasn't a bad dingy bar, but it certainly was no kid's club either.

They were several tables, and the large bar was at the very front of the room with a large Budweiser sign at the top. There was a pool table on the left end of the room, surrounded by pool sticks, and at the right end there was a large red jukebox. There were sveral men at the bar as they took their seats, most of them probably truck-drivers by the looks of it. Mike, the bartender, smile happily at him and Leah in recognition. Mike was a damn funny guy. He always had a sports game, mostly football, playing on the tv. He was a pretty big Steelers fan, Jacob didn't know why, but he knew not to question the man when it came to sports. He was as bad as Billy and Charlie sometimes. Mike also liked to joke around with Leah and push her buttons with jokes about women. But Leah was different. Leah, being _Leah_, found them utterly hilarious. After getting past his initial suprise, Mike winked at Jacob and told him that Leah was a keeper. Jacob agreed with him, and sent an honestly fond smile towards Leah, who suprisingly looked down briefly before giving him a genuine smile.

God, he loved this place. And coming here with Leah. Most couples liked the beach or a beautiful meadow or even the theaters, but Jacob and Leah were Jacob and Leah, simple and different. Mike's Bar was _their _place.

He was howling at Mike's impersonation of his grandmother, already on his fourth beer, when his phone buzzed in his pocket.

The caller ID read: _Nessie._

So he quickly answered it, after a questioning look from Leah, already on her fourth beer as well.

"Jake, where were you?" whispered Nessie. "It took forever to sneak past my parents".

Jacob's head snapped toward Leah. She seemed to know exactly who was on the phone. She just held her beer, and attempted to shrug an innocent shrug and grin. Jacob groaned. He was torn between laughing in exasperation, and hitting his Beta.

"I'm sorry Nessie, I just realized that it probably wasn't a good idea. I don't want everyone mad at me even more than they are now," muttered Jacob, hoping he sounded convincing. He heard Renesmee sigh.

"I understand. Well, I better go now, aunt Alice wants to take me shopping. I'm scared," whispered Renesmee.

Jacob laughed and hung up after a quick goodbye and silently cursed himself. He knew she could have probably heard the music in the background and the drunken hollers of the men. He couldn't help but feel guilty. Him and Renesmee were close, had been since her looked like a preteen girl now, and even had the maturity of one, when realistically she was only three.

He went back and sat down at the bar, silently glaring at Leah.

Leah, obviously trying to lighten the mood, grinned and raise her beer.

"Gotta love Mike's," laughed Leah. He couldn't help it, he laughed right back.

_I'm sick of waking up alone,  
Honey I'm pleading  
let's put away the sticks and stones  
be human beings  
I have the sense to be afraid to be a fool_

_ "Milk and Honey"(As Tall As Lions)_

Jacob growled and tore through the trees, raging and as mad as fuck.

He picked up a big stick leaning against the tree and chucked it as hard as he could.

He couldn't believe this. He was more mad at what he was feeling than what actually happened. He had walked in the Clearwater's place trying to find Leah, he needed to talk to her about something. He needed her. The Cullens were talking about leaving, as they were probably becoming suspicious in their looks. But it didn't stop the pain, nonetheless. He had walked in the house, and their was Leah and Sam, standing so close it was hard to see and space, their faces were almost touching and their eyes had been smouldering in intensity.

But Sam loved Emily.

He knew you couldn't fight an imprint, that just wasn't possible. He knew Sam still had a soft spot for Leah, but he knew Sam loved Emily too much to act on it. Maybe he had jumper to he wrong conclusion, maybe they had been arguing and found themselves in a very close, angry staredown He heard footsteps and whirled his head towards the intruder.

_Leah._

Normally he would be happy to see her, now he just wanted her to go away.

She came and sat down beside him.

"That wasn't what you think," she said casually. So casually he snapped at her.

"Oh really, well what was it then?" growled Jacob. Leah looked somewhat amused and that surged to piss him off further.

"There's no need to get your panties in a twist Jakey-poo," laughed Leah.

Jacob closed his eyes in rage and just stood up and swiftly began walking away. He heard the rapid footsteps coming up behind him and felt a pair of hand grab his arms and turn him around.

"What?" he growled.

"Can you at least listen to my side of the story before you storm off like a jealous idiot?" murmured Leah.

He wanted to growl and yell he wasn't jealous. To tell her he didn't give a damn what she did with whom. They weren't dating. He wanted to tell her how pathetic it was that she went running back to Sam, despite the two of them working hard for years to get over them. But he didn't.

Because he then realized, he _was _jealous.

He had never been before. When the drunk guy's at Mike's Bar hit on her, he didn't care. When she flirted with other guys he didn't care. When she had had sex with a couple other guys he hadn't cared. But this was different. This was Sam. And Leah loved Sam.

"Fine, explain," whispered Jacob, suddenly exhausted and pinching the bridge of his nose.

"We were arguing over Emily. No! Not what you think! We were arguing over what was best for the baby. He said I wouldn't know how to raise a child. I told him Emily was my cousin, and despite everything, I know her better than everyone. That pissed him off, and he told me to get over everything because I was being pathetic and the next thing I know we're face to face and you walk in and storm out," finished Leah, suddenly sounding exhausted herself

Jacob then realized there was no point in getting riled up over nothing. This was stupid. He was pissed at Sam, pissed at Bella, pissed at Leah, pissed at himself. He then realized him and Leah had never been simple. They had always been complicated. They had never been able to define what they were. They were a complication under a masked simplicity. Their relationship was an enigma to him.

"Don't tell me if Bella wanted to be with you that you would deny her," murmured Leah.

She was right. If there was one simple thing about them, it was honesty.

Don't tell me if Sm wanted you back you would deny him," whispered Jacob.

"I wouldn't," agreed Leah.

"I wouldn't either," agreed Jacob.

Not being able to help himself, he moved forward and wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly. She held him tightly back.

"Lee, what are we?" asked Jacob, mustering up his courage.

Leah looked straight in his eyes with an honest intensity, and leaned up and kissed him passionately. He kissed back.

"Are we together?," he panted after pulling back. Her eyes were drowning in intensity.

"Do you want to be?" she murmured.

He really thought about it. And yes he did. He would always love Bella and she would always love Sam, but it could be possible for them to love each other. Bella and Sam were like chasing the ones you know you could never have. But Leah was the one you could, the one who understood the chase as good as you. Why chase something you couldn't have? When really you could have a whole lot more with the one you could?

"Yes," he mustered He grabbed her and pinned her against the tree. She growled and kissed him.

"I'm not in love you....yet," she grinned.

"Me neither," he grinned right back.

He slammed her harder against the tree and she hissed and ground against him. He kissed her harshly.

"Really though.....what are we?" he murmured desperately, catching his breath.

She panted and looked at him with a mutual intensity.

"We're us," she said.

He understood.


	5. Chapter 5

Ok guys, this will be the final chapter in my short story. My sister keeps begging me to do another Twilight fic, which I probably won't. I really don't know. Maybe, but it will be a couple of months before I could. The reason I'm finishing this final chapter now is because I dont have to be at work till tomorrow night now and I figured why not. But if you like this story, look for me in the future. I don't give a shit about being favorited, but if I ever do another Twilight fic, it will definitely be longer. Or if you like Harry Potter watch out for that. Thanks to my reviewers. This chapter is a little bit darker than my previous ones. Like I said, it's a _realistic _Jacob and Leah. Enjoy.

_She left with the sunlight_

_ I cried to the moonlight_

_ This crazy bitch, she stole my life_

_ She left with the sunlight_

_ I cried to the moonlight_

_ This fucking bitch deserves to die_

_ "Sunset Beach" (The Teenagers)_

Crunch.

Snap.

Jacob's shoulder ran into another tree. He guessed it was around the fourth one. Like he gave a shit at the current moment. He ignored the pain and ran as fast as he could up to the cliffs. He knew Leah was probably trailing behind him just as fast. He turned back and saw a blurred figure chasing after him. There she was.

This was stupid. He was seeing red he was so pissed, and here he was, running away from the cause of his anger. '_Fuck this'_, he thought, and without any warning at all, slowed down to an automatic stop. He grunted as the blurred figure crashed into him full speed from behind, and took them both slamming towards the ground with a loud crash. He tried with all his might to stop the furious fists been thrown at his face, neck and chest. He gripped the waist of the raging girl above him and with quick stride hoisted the girl over his shoulder. He stood up with a growl and his vision blurred as he used full speed to slam her body against a tree.

"Fucking asshole," screamed Leah, as she pounded her fist against his back.

"Fuck you Leah!", spat Jacob. "Your the one who fucked everything up! So don't you _dare _blame this on me".

Leah growled furiously and struggled in his arms. Jacob finally had enough, and picked her up from where she struggling against the tree, and threw her to the ground with a hard thud. Leah struggled to get up, but as soon as she did, her hands fisted at her sides, her head held high with pride, and she glowered angrily at Jacob.

"You think that I chose this? You think I fucking wanted this? You think tha I _didn't _try with you? I _did!_ I gave you everything I had Jake, and it still wasn't enough. We both know that this was going to happen sooner or later. Because it's _us _Jake. We're never allowed to be happy for too long. So if you think I did this on purpose, your an asshole," forced out Leah, her teeth gritted. Her eyes were pained.

Jacob couldn't take it. He turned, his hand going through his growing hair frustratedly as he began to walk off. He heard her rapid footsteps behind him and a hand on his arm.

"Jake, _please._ We need to talk about this. When the going gets rough you can't just hightail it and ignore it. So stop being such a fucking pansy and talk to me," whispered Leah, trying to maintain an indifferent expression.

He turned around to look at her and let loose a pained sigh. He sunk to the ground next to a small tree and just sat there, his face looking at the sun. His jaw was clenched, and his shoulders were hunched in a defeated posture. He glanced up at Leah, exhaustion and defeat in his eyes. He heard Leah sigh and sit down right next to him. She also looked towards the sun.

"There's gotta be a way," he murmured, trying to keep his voice even.

"There isn't. Both you and I know there isn't," she murmured right back, her voice tinged with sadness.

He just closed his eyes, trying to block out everything. He heard Leah's head thud against the tree, several times, obviously in anger.

"This isn't fucking fair," growled Leah. Her face was like stone.

"Yeah? Since when has life ever been fair to us?" snorted Jacob. "It never has, and I didn't expect it to start now".

Leah just shook her head in exasperation, and resumed hitting her head against the tree.

"I thought after all we've been through, I thought maybe it would let me be happy, just once.....with you," whispered Leah, honesty pouring out of her words. She finally turned to face Jacob, her expression just as defeated as Jacob's was. He reached out and grabbed her hand, squeezing it softly. She squeezed back gently, then let his hand go abruptly. She stood up quickly and walked over to a tree a few feet across from him, and leaned against. She stared at him with with sad eyes.

"I never meant to imprint," she said, almost as if she was talking to herself.

"I know you didn't," he said, trying to keep the sadness out of his tone. Which he knew he failed.

Leah leaned her head back against the tree, confusion and anger marring her features. She turned swiftly, and her fist connected with the tree as hard as it could. A loud crack resounded as splinters went everywhere. Blood began to run down her knuckles, but she just crossed her arms across her chest, and shook her head. A pained expression was on her face, but she didn't seem to notice. She just stared blankly ahead at the sun, a startingly small amount of anguish on her features. He couldn't bring himself to get up and comfort her. He was mad. He knew it was wrong to be mad at her for something she couldn't control, but he didn't care. He needed to feel something other than sadness and this was it. She seemed just as angry as he was, only at herself.

"Dammit", she whispered. She just kept shaking her head, her gaze blank.

He didn't respond. He didn't know how. What was he to say? He was torn between cursing her and hugging her.

"God," she whispered. "It would have been so much easier if I was with-"

"Sam?" stated Jacob, his voice blank.

"No, idiot. It would have been so much easier if we had imprinted on each other," groaned Leah.

"Well, we didn't, as you can see," snapped Jacob, his anger finally showing through.

"I'm quite aware of that jackass. You think this is easier for me?" snapped Leah, her eyes narrowed at Jacob.

"Sure as hell seems like it," snorted Jacob. "You get to spend the rest of your life with someone who loves you, and someone you love back. I'm never gonna imprint. Everyone goes on with their happy fairy tale lives and I spend the rest of my life alone".

Leah's face contorted in fury. Then she began laughing. Not a happy laugh, but an angry and cynical laugh. She began walking towards Jacob, a look of almost madness in her eyes. She crouched on her knees in front of him, and he admitted that he was slightly afraid. She looked crazed, completely inhuman almost.

"Wake up and smell the coffee, little boy! The world is chaotic and shitty. Life is never fair to anyone. You think just because we imprint we have a pretty white house and a picket fence with fucking children running around? We _don't!_" roared Leah. She was shaking now, and growling at him. He couldn't help but shrink back slightly, fear with a tinge of humiliation swept through him. He had never seen Leah so angry. And the worst part was that her words were true. He knew he was being slightly selfish, thinking that her imprinting only effected him. But he couldn't help it. He couldn't help the jealousy, now knowing he would never fully have her.

They had been together for four months, and in that time he felt a lot better than he ever was. They never said they were in love, cause they were them and they just didn't do that. He didn't know if he loved her, or if she loved him, but that had never mattered. What _had _mattered was that he always had her if he needed her. Which he always did. What _had _mattered was that she helped him, whether to kiss him to get his mind off things, or to watch his back in a fight. Leah was his Leah. His Beta, his confident, his weird I-almost-love-you-but-not-quite-lover, his _best friend. _He felt his entire chest constrict as tears pooled in his eyes.

Leah's eyes softened a fraction, but she continued on in a hard tone.

"I'm trying to fight this Jake, and don't you dare think I'm not. But I can feel it. The strings pulling at me.....it....it feels like love. But in my head, it seems like I'm bound like a puppet. Something I can't control. I hate this as much as you. I hate feeling this towards someone who doesn't truly know me" finished Leah, her voice and eyes full of pain.

Jacob looked up and just stared at Leah. She stared at him right back.

"Your my best friend," he whispered, his voice small, much to his humiliation.

"Your my best friend too, she said, her tone suprisingly light and gentle.

He sighed. Things would never be the same. He could feel his heart wrenching and turning, almost as if he had his own strings attached to his heart and they were pulling. Pulling so hard that it hurt to breathe. He closed his eyes and willed his chest to stop hurting.

"Are you getting mushy on me Clearwater?" he whispered, attempting to grin with all his power.

"Hells yeah girlfriend. We're like.....best friends forever right," grinned Leah, her tone obnoxiously high and girl-like.

Jacob felt a true smile quirk up at her antics. She smiled right back. His smile.

"Thanks Leah," he murmured.

"Anytime.......jackass," grinned Leah.

He sighed and began to stand up, his chest still aching....emotionally. He wiped his hands on his pants and looked up toward Leah. She leaned against the tree, almost waiting for him to say something. He realized the very brief lightness was now over.

"I suppose you need to...um...get back," said Jacob, his tone quiet.

Leah nodded sadly and looked at him. She crossed her arms and went closer to him, until she was standing directly in front of him.

She leaned up and gently pressed her lips to his. He wrapped his arms around her waist tightly, trying to prolong the moment. He ran his tongue along her bottom lip, and she sighed and granted him entrance. His tongue explored her mouth gently, and then tangled with hers, fighting for control. Her hands came up and scratched the back of his neck, before moving her hands down to his chest. He groaned softly and pulled her tighter to him, if that was at all possible. She began to pant slightly, as her hands moved lower, and began to unfasten his belt. He quickly reached the hem of her top, and pulled it up, quickly ridding her of the material.

"Jake," she said, her voice hoarse. Her eyes had darkened.

"Please Leah? One more time....for me," he whispered, his voice begging and outlined in arousal.

She just leaned up and kissed him harder, completely ridding him of his belt.

She pushed him against the tree full force, until his back collided painfully with it. He ignored it.

She pulled his shirt over his head, and leant forward and layed searing hot kisses across his chest, her fingers gently outlining his abs.

His eyes fluttered and he quickly leant down and began to unbutton her jean shorts, watching in slight awe as she slid out of them. She was now in nothing but her black bra and matching bikini underwear. Her now chest length hair was slightly mussed, and her eyes were dark with lust. So beautiful. He felt himself stiffen down below as her hand began to unbutton his jeans. He slid out of them as fast as possible, and sighed as her hand gently fondled him through his boxers. His eyes opened in confusion when she stopped. She just smirked and pushed down on his shoulders with force, until he was on the ground. She quickly stepped out of her underwear, and sat herself quickly in his lap.

"Gettyup cowboy," she smirked.

She grabbed his member and pulled it out of his boxers. Before he could comprehend anything, she impaled herself on him, her wet heat completely surrounding him. His eyes fluttered shut as his head hit the tree behind him. His breath hitched as she gently began to move up and down, her nails digging in his shoulders. He began to move his hips with hers, their thrusts beginning to get more intense with each one.

Jacob clenched his eyes shut and gritted his teeth as Leah rolled her hips.

He gave a particularly hard thrust upwards and groaned, opening his eyes. Leah's face was tilted downwards, her breathing erratic.

Something was wrong. Pure pain was contorted on her face.

It took all his will power, but he managed to stop. Leah opened her eyes to see what caused him to stop, and clearly saw the concern on is sweaty face. She tried to move her hips again, but his hands on her hips stopped her.

"Leah...are you....are you alright?" panted Jacob, his chest moving quickly.

Leah's eyes seemed pained. "I don't think the imprint is agreeing with this." That was all she said.

Jacob could feel his chest swell with pain again. He grabbed her hips rougher, and was about to pick her up and off of him, but she stopped him quickly. She grabbed his hands off of her hips, and with force, slammed them down on either side of him.

"No," she growled. "I want this. Fuck the imprint".

She forcefully rolled her hips against him and he couldn't stop the groan that escaped. He attempted to again, only to have her move harder against him, despite her hisses of pain. He was too incoherent to think or feel guilty as she began to quicken her pace. He could only clench his eyes shut as she moved with vigor and passion above him. He could feel himself beginning to tighten, his body beginning to tense.

She completely lifted herself off of him and slammed herself on him again, completely up to the hilt.

"Fuck!" he stuttered, and his whole body tensed as he came inside her.

His head fell back against the tree, his breathing ragged. He opened his eyes blearily, to see Leah shakily pry herself off of him.

"Are you okay, Leah?" he asked worriedly.

She gave him a pained smile.

"It was worth it," was all she murmured.

He began to protest, but she stopped him. Her hand covered his mouth and she stared into his eyes.

"It was worth it", she said again, pure conviction in her voice.

He just nodded and decided not to argue. She stood up quickly and began to put her clothes on. He followed swiftly.

Now fully clothed, he faced Leah, wiping the sweat of his brow and trying to figure out what to say to her.

"I suppose you really do need to head back now," whispered Jacob.

"Yeah," whispered Leah. She stared at the ground, her expression radiated pain.

She glanced up at him, and he met her eyes. They just stared.

"Goodbye Jake," she murmured, turning to walk away.

"Goodbye Leah, he whispered, his throat tight.

She turned towards him and her eyes softened. He kept his eyes determinedly toward the ground.

"Jake," said Leah, her voice slightly louder. His head snapped up toward hers.

"You'll always be my best friend," she said.

She gave him a gentle look before turning and walking away, her lithe figure disappearing into the forest. Jacob just watched that spot for several minutes, before turning to look at the sun. He walked forward several feet till he was at the edge of the cliffs. He just stared down at the water, the gentle waves crashing against the rocks. He sighed and sat down, his feet dangling over the edge.

The strings in his chest pulled in a million different directions. His chest constricted in pain again. He just kept staring blankly ahead.

Lost and found and lost again.

_Road trippin' with my two favorite allies_

_ Fully loaded we got snacks and supplies_

_ It's time to leave this town, it's time to steal away,_

_ Let's go get lost, anywhere in the U.S.A._

_ Let's go get lost_

_ Let's go get lost_

_ -"Road Trippin"(Red Hot Chili Peppers)_

Jacob quickly looked at the caller ID: _Bella._

He felt guilty when he hit ignore. Oh well. He wasn't in the mood to here her rant at him for kidnapping her daughter.

Renesmee glanced over at him when he put the phone back in his pocket.

"That was my mom, wasn't it?" grinned Nessie.

Jacob just sighed and nodded.

"When we get back to Forks, your a dead man," laughed Nessie, as she followed him inside to pay for the gas.

"Don't remind me," he groaned. He knew he was dead when he got back to Forks. But ever since Leah imprinted two months ago, Renesmee became his little confident. She could never replace Leah as his confident, but he was still close to the younger girl. She listened when he needed to talk. And she hung out with him when Leah was off getting to know her imprint better. He didn't blame her. At first she was reluctant to get to know him. She had refused to go near him. He was from La Push, but luckily did not seemed to inheritant the wolf trait. He was a little younger than Jacob and Leah, by about a year. He was an honestly nice guy.

He was tall, like the rest of the La Push boys, and he was good-looking as well.

'_Not as good-looking as me,' _Jacob thought smugly.

But him and Leah now seemed to be on a talking basis. Which Jacob supposed was good. It was funny when the guy got flustered by Leah's fierceness, but Jacob honestly felt sorry for the boy when Leah turned her frustrations on him. Well, until he had walked in on him and Leah's, _presumably, _first kiss. His stomach had twisted and he had to fight down a sudden bout of anger at the memory. Now he couldn't help but find the guy's nervousness and fear toward's Leah hilarious.

'_He can't handle her,' _thought Jacob. He knew he had to stop this, but it honestly was hard. He just missed Leah. His best friend and girlfriend. Well, _former_-girlfriend. It still pained him to think of that day in the forest. Now he knew how Bella felt when Edward left her. Him and Leah were still close though. Sometimes when she glanced at him he noticed her eyes flash with pain. He knew she was still somewhat suffering too. He knew she was also trying to fight the imprint. He could see it everyday. The honest internal struggle when Jacob tried to kiss her again and the imprint tugged.

He was proud of her. At least she was trying. At least she found him worth fighting for.

He payed for the gas and a coke, and made his way outside with Renesmee.

He sat down on the bike and took a sip of his coke, then screwed on the cap and put the bottle in his baggie jeans.

Renesmee sat behind him on the bike, checking her cellphone and howling with laughter.

The screen read: _5 missed calls from Mom. 3 from Dad. 1 from Aunt Alice._

_ "_My parents...ar..are..gonna...kill....y..you," gasped Nessie, completely in hysterics.

Jacob closed his eyes. Bella and Edward were gonna kill him. He was suprised they haven't tracked him down and tore him to pieces yet. Him and Renesmee had been gone for two days. They had just been stopping in little towns here and there to eat and sleep. Renesmee _'forgot' _to tell mommy and daddy about this little trip. They had both kept changing their minds about where they wanted to go, so now Alice couldn't track them. Which probably made her furious. He honestly didn't know how Renesmee hid their plan from Edward the whole day. Maybe she just had that gift like Bella. Or she could block him out for long periods of time. He didn't care though. He just wanted to relax and have fun with Renesmee. He knew the Cullens would leave Forks soon. Renesmee now looked like an eighteen year old girl, and Carlisle still looked thirty even though he was supposed to be in his early forties now.

Oh well. He just wanted a breather. From Leah and the pack.

Renesmee quickly put her cell phone in her pocket.

He stood up and kick-started the bike, and gripped the handlebars as Renesmee wrapped her arms around his waist.

He sped off.

**Two Days Later:**

Crack.

Edward's fist connected with Jacob's face.

Okay, he deserved that. He stood up quickly and waved his hands in a surrender motion. Edward backed off and eased up on his offensive stance. Bella was just glaring softly at her husband, while holding Renesmee's hand.

"Edward, Nessie is just fine. Jake took care of her, so there is no need for violence here," murmured Bella.

Jacob smirked as Edward's eyes softened toward Bella, and he immediately backed off.

Bella looked back towards him and sighed softly with an exasperated look on her face.

"You could've called me back though, Jake. I was worried sick," chastined Bella. But her lips were quirked up

"Sorry Bells. We just....needed to get away for awhile," shrugged Jacob, hoping he sounded nonchalant. He probably failed. Luckily, Edward was fussing over Renesmee and whispering to her in hushed tones, but Bella was looking at him intensly. He tensed, she had her perceptive face on. She gestured her head towards the forest outback, and he nodded. He began walking toward the backdoor, turning around to see Bella swiftly whisper something in Edward's ear before following him. He sat down on a log a little bit away from the house, And faced the trees that were ahead. He watched as Bella adjusted her long skirt and sat next to him. She just crossed her fingers and cocked her head to the side, waiting for him to speak. When he clearly didn't start, she took the initiative.

"I know we've been through a lot Jake. I know that we...aren't as close as we used to be. But you can still talk to me....always. You always helped me when I needed it, so please....let me help you. Talk to me," she murmured. She had a patient look on her face.

Could he tell her? The reason this thing with Leah started was because of her. Not that he blamed her of course. He was actually kind of glad this happened. Or else he would have never grown closer to Leah.

Sighing, he turned towards Bella, and began to talk. He told her everything. He started from when she left for Italy, and told her how it started, and how it progressed. She just listened, not speaking a word. It was nice, finally being able to go to her about his problems, instead of the other way around. She occasionally asked about Sam and Emily, and the pack. He told her they were doing good. He hadn't spoken to Sam and Emily in a while, but last he checked they were good and taking care of their now one year old son. Quil and Embry were still doing good. Still being idiots, of course. Quil was happy that Claire seemed to be getting older. She was twelve now. Paul and Rachel were still doing good. He hadn't seen his sister in a couple of months. He still can't believe Paul was with his sister. He was still in denial stage. Seth was doing great, he had imprinted awhile ago on a girl from the reservation. Lucky for him she was around their age. God, he would never let Quil live down all the stuff he always had to buy Claire. Namely Jonas Brothers pillows and Hannah Montana cd's. But luckily Seth's imprint was only a year younger than him and quite a pretty little thing.

"Wow," said Bella, shaking her head.

"Yeah," whispered Jacob, twirling a stick in the dirt.

"I always wondered if something was going on," said Bella. "That one day you defended her. You two seemed...connected".

"Really?" asked Jacob. He couldn't help but feel a little happiness.

Bella nodded. "You two....fit...in an odd way".

Jacob smiled.

Bella was about to say something, but then seemed to hesitate. Jacob grinned. He knew the expression on her face.

"Go ahead....you can say it," laughed Jacob.

Bella hesitated. Then her face scrunched up. "Really Jacob? Leah Clearwater of all people?"

Jacob laughed. A long time ago, he would have defended Leah, gotten mad at Bella. But he knew Bella was just being playful. And he would be honest, it was good to have Bella back again like this. He missed this.

"I'll be honest Jake. I'm not.....terribly fond of the girl". Jacob snorted at this. "But if she makes you happy, then I wish you the best".

"Thank you Bells, it really means a lot," whispered Jacob.

Bella smiled and reached out and hugged him tightly. He scrunched up his nose at the scent, and he could feel her doing the same. He tried to ignore it though, and pulled her closer. After a minute they both pulled back and Bella smiled playfully.

"Mutt," she joked.

"Leech," he grinned.

She winked at him and stood up, and he quickly followed suit, throwing the random twig on the ground.

"So your not terribly fond of Leah?" smirked Jacob, knowing the answer.

"Lord no," snorted Bella. "I detest that woman".

Jacob just laughed and nudged her as they walked back up toward the Cullen house.

_ And the talkin leads to touching_

_ And the touching leads to sex_

_ And then there is no mystery left_

_ And it's bad news_

_ I don't blame you_

_ I do the same thing, I get lonely to_

_ -"Portions For Foxes" (Rilo Kiley)_

"Leah," whispered Jacob.

There weren't even three inches between them. The air was thick.

"Jake," growled Leah. Her eyes were flashing and her jaw was tense.

"Please Leah, I have to know. Just tell me. I...I know we can't be together, but I just wanna know...please," begged Jacob.

He was desperate now. He honestly hadn't meant for the conversation with Leah to go this far but it had. He knew he shouldn't have asked, afterall, it was a sacred question that was never asked between the two of them. But before he could've even comprehended the situation, it had escaped his mouth. Which was why they were currently face to face, the air thick with emotions and tension.

"Why ask me a question you already know the answer to?" asked Leah, bitterly.

"That's the thing Leah, I don't know the answer! Because we've never talked about it," growled Jacob.

"That's a good thing Black, so why don't we keep it that way?" growled Leah right back.

She turned swiftly in the Clearwater's small kitchen, and began to walk back toward the living room. Jacob quickly reached out and grabbed her elbow, spinning her to face him. With force, he grabbed her by the waist and pinned her to the refrigerator, and glared intently at her face. She quickly tryed to retaliate with her fist, but he quickly grabbed both her arms and pinned them above her head. He smirked and moved his hips back when she attempted to knee him in the crotch. He pinned one of his legs between hers and held it there. He saw her eyes briefly flutter, and couldn't help but feel a little smug.

"Say it Leah," whispered Jacob.

Leah glared furiously at the boy that had her pinned.

"If you don't let me go, I will scream for the pack," threatened Leah. "And then kick your ass Black".

"I'm shaking with fear," murmured Jacob, rolling his eyes.

Leah seemed to glance down briefly, before looking up at him. Her eyes had a flicker of pain. Then he realized the imprint must be hurting her. He let her go quickly, as if she was on fire. He noticed the pain fade when his leg moved away from between her legs. Fucking imprint. Leah pushed herself off the refrigerator and shook her head.

"Jake, you knew this wouldn't work from the start," she whispered, her voice raw.

Jacob quickly shook his head. "No, we didn't know that. We _still _don't know that".

Leah tried to look calm, but he could tell it took a lot of strain.

"It's over Jake. I _can't _fight this imprint. I've tried everything I could possibly think of. It _hurts_ when I try to push him away. It _hurts _when you kiss me. But do you know what hurts me the most?" Leah paused. "It _kills _me when I know I'm fighting a losing battle".

Jacob's heart broke for Leah. And for himself.

Leah sighed and glanced towards the ceiling, her expression pained.

"But you wanna know if I do?" whispered Leah.

Jacob's throat was dry. He honestly didn't want her answer to the question. Cause if it was the right one, then this whole ordeal was gonna hurt even more so. He just stared at her, waiting for her words.

"I do," whispered Leah. That's all she said. She looked at him, her eyes glossy with something. She closed her eyes tightly and pinched the bridge of her nose. After a whole minute, she straightened up and looked calm, her gaze gentle.

"We're missing the game. C'mon Jakey," she murmured. She stepped backwards toward the living room and began walking towards the door. Without a backwards glance, she walked through it, and he heard her rejoin the others.

He just sat there and stared.

He closed his eyes tightly and put his face in his hands tiredly.

The strings were tugging incessantly.

He didn't feel much like the game anymore.

Without a backwards glance, he turned around and headed out of the Clearwater's house through the backdoor.

He was going home.

Lost and found and lost again.

**The actual end. (Dodges tomatoes and heavy objects being thrown)**


	6. Update my fellow skanks!

Disclaimer: Um-Hey. I just wanted to say that there will be an epilogue up soon for this story. I'll just post it as the last chapter. I was content to leave it the way it was, but a month ago I remember looking over it because I'm writing my new story. But I remember wanting to do something with it, and wanting to give the characters some closure. I can't guarantee happiness, but I can guarantee a little bit of understanding and closure between the characters. And once something nags at me, I have to finish it. So yeah. It'll be up soon. And thanks to all the reviewers, maybe in the future I'll write you a little something else. And by the way: Edwardlovr41126….your a bitch. Have a nice day!


	7. Real Epilogue

Disclaimer: Wow, guys. I checked my user stats, because I wanted to see if people were still interested in my story, and I was shocked by the shitload of views and hits. So thank you. So here it is; my epilogue. Normally I don't care about reviews, but it would be nice to hear some feedback to see if my epilogue was any good.

**'_I did it my way...'_**

Jacob mouthed the words silently.

He didn't know how long the record kept playing. He was pretty sure this was the fifth round. It's not as if he had been paying attention though. The last two hours blurred together.

_Flashback:_

_Jacob stumbled in the room, his vision slightly blurry and his stomach churning unpleasantly; the tequila was definitely kicking his ass._

_He fumbled on the dingy wall for the light switch, finally getting it._

_This had been the first time he had been to Mike's Bar alone, without Leah. _

_It's not as if he wanted her company anyway, even after a year his chest ached and his jaw clenched whenever he saw Jesse's arms wrap possessively around her. Things had never been the same, were never going to be the same. He was honest to God sick of this shit. Plus, ever since Billy died a week ago, that really put the sadness icing on top of his already wonderful depression cake with an extra teaspoon of misery and hurt. What was he supposed to do now? His father was dead. The only person more miserable than him at the moment was Sue Clearwater, and he was pretty sure he saw a bottle of Jack Daniels in her hand as she stumbled through her door._

_He rubbed his hands over his face tiredly, as he surveyed the messy room._

_His eyes watered as he noticed Billy's wheelchair over in the corner._

_Drunkenly, he crawled over to the chair and simply leaned back against it. He sniffed and just looked at the room with glazed eyes. He then noticed the large wooden box under his father's bed, with the words 'Billy' carved on the side. He squinted and with deliberate slowness, began to crawl towards the wooden box, his lips pursed. _

_Gently, treating it like it would break at any second; he pulled it out from under the bed._

Old, crinkly pictures were scattered across the room.

Some of them were of Jacob, when he was young and less heart-broken.

Some of them were of Billy, when he was young and less heart-broken.

Some of them contained everybody, when they were young and less-heartbroken.

The one clutched tightly in his hand was the one most wrinkled, like it had been looked at so many times that the photo had been absorbed by the person's fingertips.

He vaguely remembers his mom, but not enough where he could sit down and chat with others about every little detail about his childhood. He just remembers laughter and lakes and bonfires and singing. And _singing._ If he can recall any detail about his mother, it was that she could sing _damn _amazingly. The dusty records were scattered across the floor, some of them far too old to even read the cover. But he stared at one in particular.

He remembers her singing it, after he scraped his knee when he was four and cried when the cleansing alcohol burned his knee.

He remembers, '_Do you want me to sing you good ole' Frank, baby?'_

He remembers nodding and immediately calming down after she began to sing.

He remembers Billy listening, nodding approvingly, '_Better than the trash these days, for damn sure.'_

He smiles, for the first time in what seems like forever, and keeps mouthing the words along. And with the bottle of tequila in his hand, he leans back and closes his eyes, feeling like the Jacob in the photo, smiling happily and leaning against the old red truck.

Good ole' Frank.

**'_For what is a man,_**

**_what has he got?_**

**_If not himself,_**

**_Then he has naught.'_**

"C'mon dude, you've had three turns already!"

"It's not my fault you always fly off the track, dumbass!"

Jacob sighed in relief when Collin bolted into the kitchen, answering the ringing phone.

He nearly groaned when Brady put down the other controller, and looked at him with a serious face, his gaze expressing concern.

"Have you-you know- been doin' ok," asked Brady, biting his lip.

He couldn't help but be exasperated; nobody would stop asking him that damn question. He knew they were concerned, and appreciated it, but he still couldn't help but get annoyed by the constant hovering. The only one who didn't was Leah, but that's because Leah was Leah and she just _knew_. And that's what made it even harder; he couldn't be around the one person he wanted to be around.

"Bro, just drop it, _please,_" he begged.

Brady just nodded, and picked up the controller once more.

That was one good thing about Collin and Brady. If he couldn't have Leah to talk to, he certainly had them. They didn't push you to speak, they just waited patiently. The guys may be immature goofballs, but when the time came, they knew just what to say, or what _not _to say. He was extremely grateful for the both of them, because if he really thought about it, they're all he really had. He hadn't had a true conversation with Leah in quite awhile, and he wasn't as close to the former pack as he used to be, seeing as they stopped changing and settled down once they had their imprints.

Collin returned with a dazed expression on his face.

"I think my girlfriend just dumped me," was all he said.

Jacob didn't know what to say. Did he comfort the boy, or keep his distance? But looking across the couch at Brady, who was biting his lip and stifling his laughter, he knew.

Their eyes met across the room and they both burst out laughing, with Collin glaring at them the entire time. It was honestly the hardest Jacob had laughed in quite awhile. It was nice. Collin's eyes seemed to lose their harshness as they surveyed Jacob, and he began joining in on the laughter whole-heartedly.

Then there was someone knocking on the door.

Brady got up, still laughing, and went to the answer the door. He swung the door open and his laughter suddenly died, causing Jacob to wonder who it was. Brady returned to the living room slowly, almost looking hesitantly at Jacob, and it didn't take a rocket scientist to know who it was. His suspicions were confirmed when Leah appeared from behind Brady, her stance shockingly unsure.

His throat constricted, and he tried to meet her gaze unwaveringly.

Collin and Brady suddenly shot up off the couch like it was on fire, exclaiming they had something very important to do before darting off.

'_Real subtle you two,' _he couldn't help but think.

Leah seemed to be thinking along the same lines, because she suddenly seemed to regain her old confident stance, and seemed to mutter an '_idiots' _under her breath.

He couldn't help but let a little grin slip, and Leah seemed to notice, because she seemed to give him a small grin back.

He cleared his throat, "Would you like something to drink?"

Leah simply shrugged. "Sure. I'll take a beer if they got any."

He could tell they were both trying to act nonchalant, and knew if it were anyone else watching the scene, they wouldn't suspect anything off. But he was desperate. Desperate to even get that small part of Leah back, the Leah that he could be friends with and joke with. So he mustered up all his courage, and hoped she took the bait.

"Better watch that ass Clearwater. Ever since you stopped changing you've really been letting yourself go," he said, in what he hoped was a playful tone.

Leah looked bemused, and then she looked torn for the briefest second, before a genuine smile fell across her lips. She drew up to her full height, and that classic smirk came across her face.

"You know, _little boy_, that I can still take you out," she exclaimed, snarkily.

"Well with that fat ass of yours, I'm pretty sure you could take Shamu out," he snorted.

Leah glowered at him, before stomping into the kitchen and growling as she pulled open the door to the fridge violently. He followed, grinning to himself.

It wasn't much, but it was a start.

**I've lived a life that's full**  
**I traveled each and every highway**  
**And more, much more than this**  
**I did it my way**

One week later:

The coffin really was beautiful, he observed silently.

How wrong was that to think? Was he so morbid that he couldn't even shed a tear at his father's funeral, but he could muse about the beautiful wood his father's body was enclosed in? Maybe he really was losing it.

He could hear Sue's quiet little whimpers behind him.

He couldn't blame the woman; she had lost her husband and now has lost one of her best friends. He felt the urge to go comfort her, she was only one row behind him, until he saw Leah and Jesse right next to her, hands woven together and Leah's pained gaze.

The urge to suddenly cry was more than over-whelming.

But he didn't know if it was for Billy or someone else.

He suddenly felt the urge to run- and that's exactly what he did.

He ran out of the small church, and outside; until he reached the parking lot where his motorcycle was located. He sat down on his motorcycle and put his head on the handle bars, just breathing in and out. He didn't know why, be he suddenly wished he had his mom's record with him. He didn't care if he sounded like a damn child. He wanted to hear his song. He was certainly surprised to hear the church doors suddenly fling open and Leah walking out in a quick stride, her gaze determined. He felt a little relief in his chest, though he knew he shouldn't.

Then it felt like a brick was flung at his chest when saw Jesse right behind her.

A scowl overtook his features before he could really stop it.

Luckily, Leah sensed the hostility and turned around swiftly, murmuring something to him and motioned back towards the church. He notice Jesse's frown deepen and his mouth opened to protest. He heard Leah slightly raise her voice and point more firmly towards the church. He couldn't help but feel slightly smug.

His smugness only grew when Leah growled viciously as Jesse protested loudly.

Finally, after Leah snarled and gave him a verbal kick in the ass that only she could do, Jesse turned and stormed back inside.

'_He walks like a sissy,'_ he couldn't help but think, smirking inwardly.

He watched as Leah approached silently, and after tucking her dress under her, sat next to him on the motorcycle. She was silent for a few minutes, then she spoke in a soft voice.

"This really sucks," was all she said.

He couldn't help but snort. Only Leah could say something like that at a funeral, his _father's _funeral, and make him feel just a little better.

"Yeah," was all he could really think to say back.

She nudged him.

"Billy wouldn't want this," she said matter-of-factly, motioning towards the church.

"I know Leah!" he snapped.

"Just because your hurting it doesn't give you the right to be an asshole," she said back, her tone even. "You're not the only one."

Jacob felt something inside him snap. Before he could realize what he was doing, he stood up, his chest heaving, as he glowered furiously at her. It took him a full minute to realize that his hands were on either side of her hips on the seat, and their faces were inches apart. It felt as if there was suddenly a heat wave, just between those few inches. He felt his body tensing up, his breath coming out in short bursts and his eyes hooding over slightly.

"Leah," was all he could manage, his tone short and rough.

Leah's pupils were dilated, her breathing uneven almost as much as Jacob's.

"Jake," she said. Her tone was low and gravely, but it had a hint of warning to it.

Alarm bells were springing in his head, and red flags were dancing in his peripheral vision. They were both almost hissing at this point, their cheeks furiously flushed, the smell of Leah's arousal permeated the air. _No No No No!_

It took every ounce of strength in Jacob's heart to pull back.

He staggered back, his gaze wild, as he panted furiously.

Leah's jaw clenched so hard it's almost as if he could hear her teeth grinding together. She looked so, so aroused and so, so pained. It broke his heart. She shook her head sadly, before diverting her gaze off to the side. He just kept his body up-right as he tried to think of something to say. Anything to say.

"It's always going to be like this isn't it?" she asked.

He wanted desperately to say '_No' _but he knew he would be lying to the both of them.

Leah looked desperate and angry simultaneously.

"I don't know what to do anymore Jake," she whispered.

"Do what your heart tells you Leah!" he pleads.

Leah laughed sardonically. " I can't just change everything around! I can't break this! I love you, Jake, but we have to stop this or this will be a never ending cycle and neither of us will ever be happy," she ground out.

He looked away, desperate to find something to say, anything at all. For her to fight.

It's as if his eyes opened for the first time.

Leah Clearwater.

Her long, dark brown hair. Her tall, athletic figure. Her piercing brown eyes. Her sharp, but pretty face. Her shoulders hunched over. _Defeated._ Leah Clearwater looked defeated and he did this to her.

It was as if the air had been sucked out of his lungs, like he was underwater and trying desperately trying to reach the surface, but just quite couldn't.

"I'm so sorry, Leah," he gasped out.

Leah glanced up with her face still looking defeated, but now mixed in with confusion.

"Wha-?"

He cut her off has he flew at her, his whole body forming around hers as he held her. She stiffened in his arms, but finally relaxed when he just put his chin on her shoulder. He clutched at her, swaying them back and forth, not saying a word and just listening to her breathe. He looked at the church, and noticed thankfully no one had come out to witness their little dispute. This was a personal and private moment between the two of them, and he didn't want anyone to witness it. It was the last thread before their final string was cut, he knew. He swallowed and kept his chin on her shoulder.

**Regrets I've had a few**  
**But then again too few to mention**  
**I did what I had to do**  
**And saw it through without exemption**

"I don't know if you know this- but you're my hero," said Nessie. She said it like it was a random fact, or as if she was mentioning something in passing.

Jacob glanced up in surprise, the lettuce in his mouth falling to his plate as he gaped at her. That had honestly come out of nowhere.

"Um-thanks," he stated awkwardly.

"Your welcome," she grinned, and went back to staring out the window as he ate.

He sighed, searching for something to say, but luckily she continued on.

"I'm gonna miss you," she whispered, her eyes watery.

Jacob felt his chest ache at the thought of the Cullens leaving for Alaska the next day.

"I'm gonna miss you too, squirt," he murmured, genuinely.

The Cullens were finally leaving. It hurt a lot more than he thought it would. He still didn't particularly like them per se, but over the last couple years he had reconnected his strong friendship with Bella. That, and although the Cullens wouldn't ever admit it, he was the best uncle, like _ever. _He would get them to admit it one day, especially Eddiekins and Barbie doll. They still particularly disliked him even though his affections had strayed from Bella a long time ago.

Maybe he could rub himself on the piano so Edward couldn't stand the smell and never play again. He grinned at the thought.

"So, what are you gonna do now," questioned Nessie.

He glanced at her in honest confusion.

"With you life," she said quickly, seeing his confused look.

"Oh," was all he could muster up. He was surprised by her question, but even more surprised that he couldn't formulate an answer to her question. What was he going to do with his life? The last five years he had been so caught up with Bella, Leah, and fighting that he honestly had no damn clue. He, Collin, and Brady were the only wolves left at La Push at this point. Everyone had imprinted and settled, much to their dismay. It took time and Leah to realize that he didn't want to imprint, that he didn't _need _to imprint. He wanted to love someone on his own free will and for them to love him back.

Collin and Brady were content to be their idiotic selves, and trying to get into every girl's pants. But Jake realized they were just content with life, content with the life they lived. It took him awhile to realize that maybe the adventurous life was for him. He remembered always playing out in the sunshine as a little kid, and only coming inside for food and sleep, the bare necessities. He realized that even though he grew up too young and too fast, that no one had truly taken that little boy away.

"You know," grinned Jacob, "I've always wanted to travel."

**I planned each charted course**  
**Each careful step along the byway**  
**And more, much more than this**  
**I did it my way**

"I'm going to miss you, you know," came a quiet voice.

Jacob spun around in surprise.

Leah was standing there, her hands in her pockets, and a soft smile on her face.

"I'm going to miss you too," he whispered. He and Leah just stared at each other, soft grins on their faces. He felt that familiar tingle in his stomach so he looked away quickly, pushing his duffel bag in the back seat of his truck. He looked around and made sure that everything was in perfect order, before turning to face Leah.

"I never thought I was gonna get to actually do this," he said, keeping his tone and the atmosphere purposely light-hearted.

"I'm so happy for you," she said, a smile still curled on the corners of her lips.

"Me too," he grinned cheekily, causing her to shake her head and roll her eyes.

She stepped closer to him.

"I don't know what Collin and Brady are gonna do without you," she said, her voice tinged with fake worry. Her eyes were alight with laughter.

"I have complete faith in my troops," he cut in, his tone dripping with false conviction, "They've matured a lot and have come a long way."

'_Oh my God, DUDE! Did you see that chick's ass?'_

'_I would so tap that ass!'_

'_I bet I could hit it before you.'_

'_Yeah right bro, you didn't even grow your first pube hairs until sophomore year.'_

Collin and Brady's voices carried throughout the garage's wall.

Leah raised an eyebrow.

"Are you _seriously _gonna leave those two in charge?"

It was as if a light bulb went off in his head. He turned his pleading gaze towards her.

"Leah, do you think you could-,"

"HELL NO!"

**Yes there were times I'm sure you knew**  
**When I bit off more than I could chew**  
**But through it all when there was doubt**  
**I ate it up and spit it out, I faced it all**  
**And I stood tall and did it my way**

He kept driving his truck forward, determined not to look back at the landscape of La Push. The trees wove by him as he kept driving further down the road, the sun setting in the distance. He grabbed all he could find and threw it in his truck. Some of Billy's old cd's, some very old cigars, and a bottle of Wild Turkey were his best friends on the road. He was driving East, for the time being; when his mind changed he would go somewhere else.

He was slightly disappointed, for he wasn't able to find his mother's old Frank Sinatra record. He really wanted to keep it, because he honestly considered it one of the very few treasures he possessed. Driving away from his childhood home, from his friends, from Leah was the hardest thing he had ever had to do. But he _needed to do this._

He had promised to keep in contact, but something deep inside told him it was the last time he would see any of them for a very long time.

_Flashback:_

'_You better call Black,' threatened Leah, 'Because you know I'll come and beat your ass if you don't.'_

'_I know Lee. I promise.'_

_Leah looked at him for the longest moment, it's as if she somehow knew something; something that they were both seemingly unaware of in that moment in time._

_She walked towards him, sliding her feet along the dirt, kicking an old soda can out of her way. She stopped and stared at it for a minute, grinning to herself. Glancing at the can, he knew why. He remembered too- those long summer days with pizza, fucking, bonfires, and soda cans before they could legally buy beer. It was like an echo of those summers clouded in his mind and stayed swirled up in there. He also heard Leah's laughter in the echo, and vowed it was going to stay with him forever._

_She was inches away from him now._

"_I don't know what I would have done without you," she said softly. _

"_Me either," he admitted. _

"_I guess we can't say we're still not in love with each other anymore," she said._

_His heart thumped away. _

_It thumped even harder as she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his._

"_I'll see you again, someday," she grinned. It was like a heartbreaking movie as he watched her trudge away, the light catching her hair and illuminating her as she rounded the corner._

**I've loved, I've laughed and cried**  
**I've had my fill, my share of losing**  
**And now as tears subside**  
**I find it all so amusing**

When he returned to La Push years later, he made sure to go to Leah's house. It had taken him ten years to find the letter she had addressed to him before he left. She had hidden it in the glove box of his truck. In ten years he had never fucking looked there. He hadn't kept in contact with anyone, like he had promised he would. It was like one of those cliché movies where someone leaves home and they finally return with violin music.

But that's how he felt right now.

When he looked under her bed, he found an old record. He frowned and had wiped away the dust on it in order to read the cover.

_Frank Sinatra: Greatest Hits._

He was surprised when he found this under her bed.

He was even more surprised to learn the news of her death.

He was even more heart-broken than he was surprised.

_~Jake~_

_...Hopefully someday._

_~Leah~_

And now the end is near  
And so I face the final curtain  
My friend I'll say it clear  
I'll state my case of which I'm certain

I've lived a life that's full  
I traveled each and every highway  
And more, much more than this  
I did it my way

Regrets I've had a few  
But then again too few to mention  
I did what I had to do  
And saw it through without exemption

I planned each charted course  
Each careful step along the byway  
And more, much more than this  
I did it my way

Yes there were times I'm sure you knew  
When I bit off more than I could chew  
But through it all when there was doubt  
I ate it up and spit it out, I faced it all  
And I stood tall and did it my way

I've loved, I've laughed and cried  
I've had my fill, my share of losing  
And now as tears subside  
I find it all so amusing

To think I did all that  
And may I say not in a shy way  
Oh no, oh no, not me  
I did it my way

For what is a man what has he got  
If not himself then he has not  
To say the things he truly feels  
And not the words of one who kneels  
The record shows I took the blows  
And did it my way

Yes it was my way

-Frank Sinatra

**The End.**

**(Now, people, I need opinions. I have decided I will do another Jake/Leah fic. But this one will be way different than this one. I got this idea from another author. This will be twisted around though. It's where what if you could go back to one moment in time? What if Jacob went back and changed one moment with Bella and somehow it changes the entire universe around to where he wakes up with Leah in his bed. It would be romance and humor this time, with a little drama. Be sure to let me know!)**


	8. Epilogue: Part 2 on the way

Disclaimer: I know, what the hell right? You guys are probably like, 'oh she just completely butchered this story.'

And, 'That just totally gave me the opposite of closure.' Well, then I have accomplished my task of pissing you off. Gotta keep my readers on edge right? Ok, this was only the first part of the epilogue. You think I would kill off Leah and Billy, and not fill in the missing gaps? Sing song voice: You don't know me...

The next part will be in Leah's point of view. Some of the memories Jake never shared will appear, as well as her struggle and what really happened once Jake left. I probably should have told you this was a 2 part epilogue. The next epilogue will be much much longer than the last because we've heard from Jake the entire story, but not Leah. And I really would like to know the other story pitch. I probably couldn't do it for a few months because of med school right now, but I would do it. So let me know guys. And feel free to fire angry words at me, I'm so masochistic. I get easily amused as well.

It will be a little longer for the second one, because it will be very long. Around 15,000 word count so far. I making it as best as possible, because you guys rock and I don't want it to seem like I rushed through it, like I seemed to with Jacob's.

And I am open to song suggestions. Hit me up.


End file.
